So, to tell you exactly where my mind has been this month (or how much sine wine was consumed before writing this oos5 post), I actually wrote 2004 instead of 2014 at first, for the title of this post. This month has been equal parts flying by and equal parts molasses. Maybe I should describe it as flying through molasses?

August summed up:

Kids started school. Son turned eleven. Daughter got braces off. Bought tickets to see Def Leopard in the fall (whoot! Now what to wear?!). Went over budget. Darn popbacks. Darn fabulous markdowns at Anthropologie. And darn you, Free People for your sales. Bought way, way too much during all of these amazing sale promotions, including this dress, this dress and this top. Spanked self. Cannot even look at a single sock in September. Started saving all of the 5’s and 1’s accumulated at the end of each week for kids’ college in addition to the monthly stipend we deposit for each child. Will be curious to see how much it adds up to at the end of a year. Tried a new pub. Liked it. Have been going twice a week to the chiropractor after migraines revealed neck injury from ten years ago has manifested itself into a neck that no longer curves. Reveled in Genevieve’s Renovation on HGTV and then wondered if anyone else was watching. Became addicted to Jersey Belle after swearing off any more reality t.v. (but she might adopt a baby from a woman she met on the street). Wrote letter to TV Land because I can no longer function without my nightly dose of “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Cursed at the television after True Blood’s horrendous series finale. Apparently I watch too much t.v. Went to every Albertson’s in a thirty mile radius (as a date with my husband. I am a good time) and bought all of their discontinued frozen manicotti (check a store near you. This stuff is fabulous for a quick meal. Just throw in a pan with a jar of sauce and bake for an hour. Located near frozen garlic bread if the store still has it. Sorry peeps near me. You’ll just have to come over for dinner). Now need a stand alone freezer for my hoarding tendencies. Apparently stopped using pronouns.

I am obsessed with funny Family Feud moments found on Pinterest. Oh my goodness! You must read this one about Honey Boo Boo’s family.

I gained ten pounds this summer and have found it ridiculously hard to care. I also took some awful pictures having nothing to do with the weight gain and everything to do with my face.

On Friday I went to the chiropractor. He was having this young man shadow him… The hottest young man I ever did see. My husband said he could be the poster child for doctors (he was with me). I learned I am still smooth with my moves at the age of thirty seven because when he walked down the hall towards us, I hit my head on the wall behind me loud enough for those piercing blue eyes to find mine as I screamed in pain after the resonating bang of the impact had everyone look up, so startled was I by gleaming white teeth and perfect genes. Then I impressed him by having my chiropractor show him my xrays of the ribs growing from my neck.

I know how to impress a man.

Isn’t that how it is done these days? Forget cleavage. Pssst… You wanna see my neck ribs?

Then my husband (ahem. Sorry dear) and I went to breakfast but as we were walking up to the restaurant I heard a dog whimpering and barking in a panic in a locked car. It was all ready ninety degrees outside. The windows were rolled up with just room enough for a flat palm to pass through one of them equating to no breeze. So, I waited to see if anyone was going to come out of any shops. Long story short, they didn’t and I called the authorities. I found the couple sitting in a restaurant (after asking every table.) finishing their breakfast completely carefree. I had a few choice words for them, especially when the woman told me it had only been thirty minutes as she lingered over her coffee. I told her, “You are a mean, mean person to be that cruel.” The authorities (a cop car and animal control, because it is illegal in California to leave your dog locked in a car) were waiting for the couple outside surrounding the car along with a crowd of angry people. There had been other people who had seen and heard the dog as they passed by and were waiting to see if they needed to break a window to get it out. I hated that it had to come to that. I left before the confrontation. I felt bad for calling, but I really did not want the dog to die and I want them to know that they cannot do that. I did not stay to see the finale because I know the end result would have been me in tears possibly in handcuffs when I tried to snatch the dog (it was a Murphy dog). I was shaking for hours afterwards from the situation.

I made a chocolate cake with an unexpected ingredient and I cannot wait to share it. And oatmeal chocolate chip bars!… I do not know why I gained ten pounds this summer.

I purchased three vials of pepper spray from a traveling salesman and do not exactly know where to keep them. Or how to explain to my husband I bought a vast amount of pepper spray from a traveling salesman.

Books I am currently reading. And why I am sometimes behind in my comments. And emails. And life.

I cannot believe it is almost fall. In Southern California it is hard to keep track of the seasons. It is hot, hotter, not as hot, then cool but not cold. As someone who chronicles outfits this can be tricky. But I am started to get excited for the changing weather, however slight or extreme it decides to fall. I have enough boots and jeans. The staples I am looking for, on clearance, will be a leather jacket and black boots. I also want to add in some more pencil skirts because my husband likes them so much. And I am loving this vest in grey and purple.

September Posts I have in the works:

Pee Wee Herman Ruined My Singing Career
Bohemian Girl Means Business
Where’s The Gnome?
Creamy Green Chile Enchilada Casserole
It’s A Golden Age Eyelet Believe

What was your favorite part about August? Was your month molasses or flying by? Did you participate in any Labor Day Sales?

*If you missed July’s Keepin’ It Real, you can find it here.