Little Black Dress

Normally I would never buy a sleeveless dress. I hate my arms. But I am not willing to do anything about them, so I just stick to wearing sleeves. “The Lazy Girl’s Guidebook” told me this was okay. I should know. I wrote it. Well, not really. I was too lazy to jot it down, but if I had written it, this is what my advice would say:

“Cover it up.

This advice works for most things.

The End.”

See, book written. Productive day.

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I really do like this dress (now sold out. Similar dress here. Similar plus size here). It is so easy and the material is really cool. It is a basket-weave and I love the flirty little ruffle at the bottom. I will layer with this dress in the wintertime, too. This was the outfit I wore on a day I ran some errands. Shhhh. Don’t tell my lazy self.

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Maybe you have noticed my kind of rad backdrop?

That was a rug/tapestry purchased from the flea market a few weeks ago. Yes, that is a monkey sailing a sailboat. I have idea what this piece is. It is definitely handmade. We much prefer the backside in the previous picture to the bright front shown above. So, we plan on hanging it backwards.

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I do not like to stand too close to it for fear of cooties. Or other substances. Or the fact that it might be able to move on its own via the germs littering its surface.

I really need to disinfect it. Or somethin’.

But alas, lazy and all that.

My husband was thrilled when he saw that I had haggled this piece down and was walking towards him with it. Held out at arm’s length, of course. Neither one of us really wanted to touch it to carry it to the car.

Thankfully, only one of us didn’t write a guidebook on how to be lazy.

I will be posting more detailed shots of the tapestry soon. Including it hopefully actually hanging up… And none of us covered in yellow tape and bugs. But for now, let’s move on.

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Whew! Had to sit down. That standing was hard work.

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I had asked my husband to get a close-up of my new necklace from H&M. Murphy was thrilled to be in these shots.

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The necklace cost more than the dress (Anthropologie’s Melanie V-Neck). It was $19.99 and the dress was $19.95 (down from $138. Gosh, I love popbacks!)..

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The kids’ task on this day was to clean this room. From the debris on the floor you can probably tell that they have read their mother’s handbook.

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Don’t worry. As punishment, they had to hug that tapestry. And I think I saw it hug them back.

Gosh, I love a happy ending.

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And it could be worse. I could have made them pose with a necklace.

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Or myself.

Dear Children: First Day Of School 2014

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I was informed over the summer that I do not know what junior high school boy’s fashion looks like. This might surprise you, but I am going to take that as a compliment. For many reasons.

I also learned this summer that I love sleep. Okay. This is not new. But gosh, I am going to miss late summer mornings. On the first day of school, I sobbed all of the way home after dropping you off and then crawled into bed and took a nap with your daddy. Just so you know this has continued for the last two days. It is my new favorite thing. A nap after waking. Although is that a nap? Or was my brief awake time merely a walking snooze?

Let us recount the first day of school for those of us not in our household:

I had thought the morning was going well. One child was out the door. I only had one to go. I thought it was the easy one. My daughter had needed me to flat iron her hair, help with her make-up and scrutinize her clothing skin exposure earlier in the morning. Okay, the last one was unwanted. But I cannot help it. I am a mom.

So, I thought I could cruise through the remainder of the morning with my son. All he had to do was put on a t-shirt and pants. Easy.

Except.

Well, the kid has been living in his pajamas and swim trunks for the last week. He went to put on his new first day of school shorts.

They would not button.

Not only would they not button. The button-hole and the button were so far apart it was The Grand Canyon Of Skin between them. What to do?

He unexpectedly had had a huge growth spurt and all of his pants suddenly did not fit. It was ten minutes before we had to leave.

Well, no big deal, I thought. I always purchase the next size up in pants on huge discounts when I see them. I pulled out a larger size replica of the shorts he had outgrown. They had been $6 at The Gap last year and still had the tags attached to them. They also surprisingly sported a large crusty yellow stain across the lower thigh when I went to take the tags off. This probably explains the low price and definitely explains the scream you heard from my house on Wednesday morning. There was no time to wash them. I hastily, and with great stress, found another pair in a drawer.

Note to self: next year have all of the first day of school outfits inspected and tried on before you have ten minutes to get to the school.

So, let us skip the remainder of the day (Nap. Eat. Nap. Worry) and get to the part where my children recounted their day to me over dinner:

Me to my son: “What was the best part of your day today?”

My son: “I really like my computer teacher.”

Me: “What do you like best about him?”

My son: “I love the chairs in his classroom.”

Me: “What?”

My son: “The chairs in his classroom. They swivel.”

Me: “The thing you like best about your teacher is his swivel chairs?”

My son: “Well, yea, and he has a cool classroom.”

And by cool classroom, he means a room filled with computers and swivel chairs. He lucked into his perfect elective. And hopefully not a swivel-chair-concussion.

I turned to my daughter and asked her the same question I had just asked my son, “What was the best part of your day today?”

My daughter: “Definitely the professional hugger at the pep rally.”

Me: “What the heck is a professional hugger?”

My daughter: “I don’t know but he made me cry.”

Me: “Because he hugged you?”

My daughter: “No, ugh, Mom! Because he gave the best speech.”

Me: “Did he hug anybody?”

My daughter: “No. Mom! There were hundreds of people there.”

Me: “Well, I would expect nothing less from a professional hugger. Hmmmm. I want to be hugged by a professional hugger. Maybe I am a professional hugger, only I don’t even know it because I can’t hug myself. Hug me. Let me know how I measure up.”

My daughter: “Mom! He didn’t hug me!”

Me: “Yes, I know. But as a professional hugger he must have looked very huggable so I bet you could imagine how he hugs. So just compare that to this.”

My daughter running away: “Mom!…”

That about sums it up. Swivel chairs and professional huggers. The first day of school is always full of surprises. I had started to cry that morning and my son had stopped me and said, “Mom. Don’t be that mom.”

He doesn’t know that I am always that mom.

This is a tough transitional year for me. I no longer have children in elementary school. And I never will again. No hallways decorated with sunshine faces. No noodle plates. Or Mother’s Day Teas. I have had to splinter my heart with a leftover noodle when a hole burst open from the dried-out Elmer’s glue that had been holding it together.

To my children:

Last year was an amazing school year.

You daughter, found your footing in high school and I trust in your growing maturity to continue to thrive. I am amazed at your generous spirit. Your ability to speak to anyone without fear. You surpassed me with your efficient order many years ago. Of papers. Plans. Life. You never judge and are always fair. I strive for your morals. I worry that you take on too much. An imperfectionist raising a perfectionist is my greatest challenge on my journey as your mother. You are inspiring.

You son, ended your early-childhood schooling with amazing grades and a vocabulary that I envy. You started a brand new school this year. With deodorant. Growth spurts. And a wise acceptance of change. I worry about your organizational skills that you unfortunately earned from your parents. But I have faith that you will do what you always do and breeze through your education as you gather every leaf on the tree of knowledge without ever seeming to need the wind to help you soar.

Good luck, my children. I am proud of you. Work hard. And may the Air of Wisdom be always a presence at your back and an easy whisper in your ear.

Love,

Mommy (sorry. Forgot. It is probably just Mom now)

That Mom

Winner of the 17th Blog Giveaway and August Cravings

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Congratulations to Heather from the fabulous blog, The Peacock Fairy, winner of the $30 Amazon e-gift card! I hope you get something awesome! Thank you for entering, reading and for being you. I appreciate it! And thank you to everyone who entered. I just really cannot express in words or emotions (’cause you can’t see them) how much it means to me when you stop by and sit a bit. I love the connections I have made here. I cannot imagine my life without all of you.

It is August and with this sweltering summer month, comes back to school shopping. It was odd, because my daughter ended up shopping with my son, because apparently I do not know what the kids are wearing. If you still have some back to school shopping to do, I have some quick tips:

1. Anytime I am at the mall, I will go up to the information kiosk and ask if they are having a promotion. At our mall, they often do a promotion once a month or so. It is usually not advertised. You have to ask. I asked at the end of July and knew that between August 4-10, if I spent $200, I would get a $25 gift card to the mall. $400 or more would get me $40 (with two kids that is what I spent). So, I earned a gift card simply for doing something I had all ready planned on doing. I know our mall is not the only mall that does this, so be sure to ask in case your mall does promotions also.

2. Famous Footwear is where I always buy my kids’ back to school shoes. Their B1G1 1/2 off coupled with 20% off coupon is great. And because I am a reward member, that one shopping trip typically earns me a $20-25 reward in December which I always use to get one of the kids a free pair of shoes.

3. Staples is the place I go to for back to school supplies. Their door busters (you have to usually go on Sundays to not miss them) cannot be beat. It takes multiple trips, but the money saved is huge.

I think that is it. And now for my cravings. When I was at the mall, I stumbled upon the cutest boutique selling amazing clothes. Both of my children coerced me to go in to try on a skirt on the 70% off stand, because “it’s so you.”

“But we are here to shop for you.”

“But try it on! You cannot not try it on.”

Imagine those good and bad shopping devils on your shoulders from cartoons and now flick off the good one and replace it with another bad one. Those are my children in my ear when I am shopping. Except they are solid and real. And much louder.

So, of course I tried it on. And then I found a line of clothing that was just the coolest. It is called Luna Luz. Have you heard of it? The store was having a huge sale and I bought two dresses from the brand Luna Luz at a big discount. The kids made me. They made me get the skirt, too. Sigh. Needless to say that I am not buying anything else this month because I had also splurged on this dress. I still have my gift card waiting for The River Fade Dress if it hits sale any time soon. But unless something popsback for less than $20, I cannot buy anything.

But I can dream. Free People is killing it this season. I love almost everything in their new arrivals. Here are things I am watching:

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The Anthropologie Azure Lace Dress tops my list right now. Although the petite size I had been wanting is now sold out, so it might never happen on sale for me. I reviewed it here, in case you missed it.

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Free People’s Emma Love Tee is so good. I can see it paired with leggings and skinny jeans. A giant pendant and hair in two buns. I will probably snag this in September, because I love the look and the price.

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Modcloth’s Out For The Day Dress is lovely in its simplicity. I can picture it being sweet with bare legs or black tights and boots. Or spiced up with some mustard or fun fuchsia tights this fall. I have a black dress almost exactly like this one, but this dress is a high craving for me.

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Free People’s Dreamweaver Dress makes me want to skip through the streets as I swing my basket full of apothecary medicine towards the nearest village and clasp my dragon repellant in my other hand. It is perfect.

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Okay, “dress” is not the right name for this item, at least not for me, but I love the berry color (I would hope it would translate well in real life). The sleeves are so adorable on The Arosa Dress, too. I am not sure how it would be worn as a top. It is definitely too short for me to be worn without pants. Petite girls would be amazing in this.

What are your cravings? If you have kids, are you done back to school shopping? Do you know if your mall offers promotions?

Also, I have fourteen outfit posts I have to get out soon. I took too many pictures. This is going to result in more outfit posts than usual in the next few weeks. Sometimes I might have to have two posts on a single day (only one will be an outfit post). I hope you do not mind. I want to clean out my summer backup before fall arrives.

*this post contains affiliate links. Clicking on a link will result in a small commission for dragon repellant this site.

The Godmother

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I have never seen “The Godfather.” It just does not seem like my kind of movie. Unless he grants wishes and turns pumpkins into carriages and fixes dresses into ball gowns, then count me in. However, I remember something about a horse head.

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And I happen to have a horse head necklace that would have made any mobster proud.

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This necklace is giant. It is sparkly. It is fun.

I love it.

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I paired it with my Free People Embroidered Gauze Dress (sold out, slightly similar dress here), as only us Godmothers know how to do.

I previously wore this dress with some grey jeans for an informal date night here.

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Here I am pondering where to bury my next crime. A girl’s gotta keep herself in shiny necklaces. This horse head doesn’t feed himself.

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This looks like the perfect place. Don’t ya think?

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Or perhaps here.

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What about this place?

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Wait! What exactly are we talking about? What crimes? What are we burying?

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The price tag for this dress?

No. I bought it for less than $50.

Then what?

Maybe my crimes against fashion?

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I’ll never tell.

I keep it locked up tight.

Let’s just say, “I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

“Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo!”

*this post was edited using the App Afterlife’s Lumber Filter at 40%.

P.S. * I shared this on The Pleated Poppy!