December 31, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

Happy New Year!

Whew! That year was a quick one. Am I right? Well, to me it seems quicker than usual. My kids keep getting bigger and older and more wise with each second. And all of my will cannot keep them small. Their schooling is harder. Their stress load is higher. Therefore, my stress load as a parent is astronomical.

I humbly bow to those that completed their New Year’s Resolutions. I honestly do not think I accomplished a thing. I did write a silly children’s story that I might have my kids illustrate for me, but I did not write the book I wanted to. All of my time seems to be taken or trickling into unimportant things mixed with the urgency of importance.

And I gained weight instead of the goal I made last year of maintaining it. Oh, sigh. And harumph. And oh well. I can still fit into my clothes and that is all that matters. If you must, you could sing “Jenni gained weight and I don’t care,” to the beat of “Johnny Cracked Corn…” But only if you must. I always seem to must.

I am having a hard time making goals this year. Because my heart can dream big but my soul is so lazy. It is an odd train to be upon with a thumping trumpeting heart as the conductor pulls a long train stuffed with my prostrate spirit oozing sleepiness and lethargic doom, followed by the caboose of reality. Choo! Choo!

There were so many beautiful moments with my family this year. My daughter turned fifteen and soon will be getting her driving permit. Gulp. My husband and I got away to Las Vegas. We went to Maui as a family and I had l planned upon returning this coming summer, but my son and I were convinced to take a family road trip instead. And by convinced, I mean my teenager bombarded us with the persistence of youth, to do so. The long trip terrifies me with its planning and I worry for my slothful soul. I even booked us a yurt to stay in. A yurt?! Hold my hand. 2015 is looking adventurous.

This is where most blogs put up their favorite posts of 2014. Well, most blogs did that last week. This lazy soul is late, as ever.

My favorite outfit post was Bohemian Black Lace. This is my husband’s favorite dress and my favorite shoes. Together, they made me happy.

My favorite food post was A Better Crockpot Salsa Chicken. I use this constantly and for so many recipes. I love it!

My favorite short story was My Husband’s Secret. I wrote it in bed one night and it still makes me laugh. In fact every time I see his secret, I smile. It truly is the little things.

Are you making goals and resolutions for the new year? Do you plan your vacations this far in advance? Do you party tonight? Stay home? Stay up until midnight? I watch Anderson Cooper’s New Year’s Show. It is our favorite. Ever since I saw him on The Mole, I knew he would be my very best friend. Maybe in 2015?

Cheers.

May 2015 be the year you are most proud of.

With or without Anderson Cooper as a bosom buddy.

December 30, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

Easy Lasagna

Lasagna.

My mother makes the best lasagna in the world. Happy Birthday Mom! I love you! I ask for it for my own birthday. This is not her recipe. But I still think it is really good. I have made lasagna for years. In fact, it was the first “complicated” meal I ever attempted.

It’s is one of those dishes that looks hard to make, but is incredibly easy to execute. I find it calming to make the layers. I also feel like a superhero when I view the final completed project. And who doesn’t want to feel like a superhero? Well, unless it is The Hulk. Nobody wants to feel like The Hulk. Unless you are a ten year old boy. Or me, apparently from all of the posts I have done on it. But even then, you gotta admit the name leaves much to be desired.

Remember my new favorite spaghetti recipe that uses coffee grounds and is made in the crockpot? Well, I usually have three quarts of sauce left after the first dinner that I separate into three individual quart containers and freeze for use at a later date. I have friends with three sons. Actually, when I think about it, I have a lot of friends with three sons. I have heard that with that many boys they do not get as many leftovers as I do with a recipe. In fact, the exact words were, “What are leftovers?” I think with the crockpot spaghetti recipe, they would probably only have one to two quarts left after the initial dinner. There should still be enough to freeze at least one additional meal, so if you have a larger family, do not be discouraged. Make it. Save the rest. Then make a giant lasagna that will appease all. Even three growing boys.

The other day I took one quart out of the freezer. This is completely off topic, but make sure you defrost any sauces appropriately before you reheat them. I thought it would be a great idea to just throw the frozen sauce into a pan and bring it to heat. The sauce broke up into nuclear hot parts and frozen chunks. It splattered out and hit my arm where it made a small hole. I eventually had to see a doctor for it. I will definitely have a scar from it, so please be careful in reheating.

So, I defrosted the sauce first and then reheated the sauce and added an additional jar of pasta sauce to make it stretch further.

Then I just layered it into a lasagna. It was so good.

Okay. Finally. On to the recipe:

Ingredients:

1 quart of prepared spaghetti sauce (I use this recipe, but you could use your favorite)
1 jar of your favorite pasta sauce
One package of lasagna noodles (you can use no-boil ones or the fresh ones above. I highly recommend the fresh ones above, found in the refrigerated section of the grocery store near the ricotta. Do not use regular lasagna noodles unless you boil them first. I have attempted to use them without boiling. They are not as good. They are about one minute before al dente tasting)
2 cups grated mozarella cheese
1 cup grated parmesan cheese
15-16 oz. of ricotta cheese

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Yell, “You’re making me hungry! You won’t like me when I’m hungry!” If your family stares at you during this time, stare back, unwavering in your lasagna conviction.

Defrost spaghetti sauce for two-three hours and then reheat in a large pot over low heat with additional jar of pasta sauce until hot. Turn off heat.

Take a 9 X 13 pan and ladle in some spaghetti sauce into the bottom of the pan until the bottom is just coated. About 2/3 cup.

Take lasagna noodles and lay on top of sauce. This is two of the fresh ones above.

Take half of your ricotta and smear over lasagna noodles. Ladle one third of your sauce over the top, sprinkle one cup of mozzarella cheese. Place noodles over cheese. Spread the remaining ricotta over the noodles. Ladle one third of your sauce over the top. Sprinkle one cup of mozzarella. Lay noodles over cheese. Ladle the remaining sauce over noodles. Sprinkle one cup of Parmesan cheese over the top.

Cover with foil and bake for thirty minutes. After thirty minutes, uncover and bake for an additional fifteen minutes.

Remove from oven and let rest for five to ten minutes.

And serve.

Hulk Hands ~~not~~ optional.

December 29, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

Babydoll Dress

Free People does not actually call this dress, “babydoll,” however the shape that this is could not be anything else, in my humble little gnome opinion.

I was on the fence about keeping this dress, because I had also gotten the dress in this post and I try, oh how I try, not to be a glutton. But I kept taking it out of the return box and caressing it until finally it felt weird to send back a dress that I had touched so many times. I’m not that kind of girl.

Speaking of baby dolls, I have to admit to being terrified of them (ahem, gnomes being completely different). When I was a child of eight years old, I had a Cabbage Patch Doll I named Mary. I had begged Santa for a Cabbage Patch Doll that year, the ones I had seen on t.v…. With hair. And clothes… And chubby cuteness.

I was rather surprised when I opened up Mary on Christmas day to find a withered up little thing staring at me from the box. She was a premie Cabbage Patch Kid. She was ugly. She was scary. However, she was the only one that I had and so I loved her. I played with her for years, but always in the back of my mind, was sorrow over not having a “real” Cabbage Patch Kid. Always she was not perfect. Regret swallowed her strange little head.

I do not know what happened to Mary. Perhaps this is for the best. Otherwise I would have felt obligated to give her to my own daughter and the generational Mary duty would have continued. In fact, my daughter had no interest in baby dolls. It was not a fad while she was growing up. She did have every single Kelly doll ever made (thanks to an aunt who loved Barbie) which I regret donating many years ago.

There was one doll I purchased for my daughter… It was a cute little baby. A sweet face… Whose body was made from some sort of water vessel. This meant she weighed one trillion pounds. She was dressed in… Wait for this. It is a doozy. She was dressed in an Eeyore suit from Winnie The Pooh and even had the hoodie with donkey ears attached. I do not know what I must have been thinking the day I purchased that doll.

She played with it for a bit… And then it disappeared. I know. It could be anywhere. I am worried I will open up her closet one day to find the Eeyore baby staring at me from the depths of the closet. Its water body having slowly oozed out of the Eeyore suit to form a wretched smell. A gooey film clinging to its body as it stares at me accusingly.

Aaaaaahhhh!

How do I always manage to get so off track?

Do you own any babydoll dresses? Or baby dolls? Or warped Eeyore water babies languishing in your closet plotting your doom? I am hoping I can only answer “yes” to one of those questions.

December 28, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

“I did a bad thing.”

My husband crawled into bed next to me and laid his head on my shoulder. He opened his mouth and instead of sweet words of love pouring from his lips, five scary words came out instead. “I did a bad thing,” he mumbled into my arm with worry.

“What did you do?” I was not too concerned, but my heart fluttered a tiny bit and my stomach did a little flip.

“I ate your all of your reese’s pieces.”

The body spin cycle stopped and I wrung out my emotions by hand.

“Oh. I don’t care. I forgot I bought them.” Then I laughed. I stopped and looked at him.

“It’s not like The Twix Bar.”

“I didn’t eat that Twix bar! Look, I ate your candy and then I told you about it. If I had eaten your Twix bar, I would also have told you about it.”

“Not if you are trying to throw me off your trail.”

“Are you saying I ate your reese’s pieces and then confessed just to convince you that I did not eat your Twix bar sixteen years ago?”

“It is highly suspicious.”

“I didn’t eat your Twix bar!”

“That is exactly what someone who didn’t eat my Twix bar would say.”

The criminal sighed into my arm. His breath smelled of sweet peanut butter… And lies.

Gnome Lover

Stumbling through life while still having fun

Month: December 2014

Happy New Year!

Easy Lasagna

Babydoll Dress

“I did a bad thing.”