January 9, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

It’s The Little Things: Pie Crust Cookies

I have been really sick. How sick? Well, I have not had a glass of wine since Christmas. That’s how sick. I know. Who knew it was possible? It has been thirteen days of a cold with a fever and I am now beginning to think it is time to see a doctor.

Or not.

We’ll see.

It makes for interesting dreams.

But in the meantime, my sweet mother brought me over the nicest gift in the world. It was a container of pie crust cookies.

Pie crust cookies happen to be my most favorite thing in the whole wide world. My mother and grandmother used to make them all through my childhood. They start with homemade pie crust dough (which is why I never make them). The pie crust dough is rolled out then generously sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar. Then cut into long irregular shapes, punched with a fork, and put into the oven to bake. Hence the clever name, “pie crust cookies.” I don’t know where or how they came up with that.

When she delivered these, I almost cried in my delirious state.

They have been what has kept me going these last few days.

Well, that and a glorious little product called ~~heaven~~ Sudafed.

Have you ever had these delightful little treats? And why does everything taste so much better when your mom makes it? What’s your favorite thing to have when you are sick? Spaghetti for some reason also always makes me feel better. It is what we are having for dinner tonight.

It’s the little things: anything that makes you feel better when you are sick.

Thanks Mom.

January 7, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

Dear Children: Halfway

Today you have to go back to school after your long winter break. I just want to wring my hands and cry. I am not ready for you to go back. I have enjoyed every single moment of you being at home with me. Please don’t tell anyone this. I am afraid they will kick me out of Lazy-Mothers-R-Us. Although I was always too lazy to go to those meetings anyway (Do they even have meetings? Does the imaginary club I invented in my head carry on secret meetings? Must find this out…someday).

Halfway.

How is this school year halfway over?

The other night we spoke of homeschooling. Not seriously. I am not equipped to take on such a task. First, my knowledge is not up to par with today’s standards. Second, because I fear that we would have one hour of studying and seven hours of recess. Because that is what I am good at. This is perhaps why both of you were so gung-ho with the idea.

I asked you both what subject I would be capable of teaching and you both replied, “cooking.”

Awwww… Yes. Who needs math or english or science?

Let’s just all major in mashed potatoes.

Do they give scholarships for that?

Is it paid in potatoes or butter?

Halfway.

We are halfway through. But it means so much more than that. It means that in six months I will officially have no children in elementary school. Both of your schools will have the word “high” in them. I cannot see why, as it makes me feel so low.

And old.

Halfway.

It means that in six months, you, my daughter, will only have three years left at home with us. Three years! How am I ever going to manage this? It makes me want to hide in bed and never leave. And on some days I do just that. The idea of you leaving me is as foreign as the languages I will never homeschool you in.

Last night we gathered together backpacks and binders. Old lunches were found buried in the bottom of bags. A pleasant reminder as to why I joined Lazy-Mothers-R-Us in the first place. Inventory was taken and it seems that of the 2,587,463 pencils I purchased you at the beginning of the year, we have two left. Two! It also seems that both of your folders have been gnawed on and chewed then spit back out and mauled again. How else to explain the full lunches in both of your bags and the decrepit state of your folders? Maybe I’m not qualified to teach you cooking after all.

Halfway.

That is the status of my heart right now. Frozen between breaking in your absence and rejoicing in your return. It is in a stasis period. It seems to be the only thing not moving. For Time certainly has not stopped.

June. I try not to curse on this blog, but there never was such a bad four letter word as that one. The end of the school year. I always think of it as the end of yet another year that you will be with us. But maybe I am viewing this all wrong. It is, basically, the very beginning of a whole summer spent at home with me.

Maybe June isn’t such a bad word. In fact, maybe halfway isn’t either. Maybe this school year is halfway full instead of halfway empty. Oh, never mind, that analogy is useless with anything other than a glass.

Halfway.

Well, we are here whichever it may be. And, I, for one, am not even halfway ready for it.

Is it too late to stay home and make mashed potatoes?

I heard they taste better than binders.

And tears.

November 25, 2013 by gn0mel0ver

I’m Crafty Crazy

I am not crafty. Oh, how I long to be.

But I’m not.

Please remind me of this the next time I decide to do a project. Because I always do. And I always end up reenacting Amelia Bedilia. And crying. Then laughing like a maniac. Then crying. I think I confuse “crafty” with “crazy.”

I saw this Chevron tablecloth on Anthropologie’s Website and I loved it! But at $228, I knew that even if it went on sale, it would be too expensive for me. I thought, how hard could it be to make one myself?

You probably all ready know the answer to that.

Well, first I purchased a tablecloth in a neutral linen from Target’s website. Then it came and I promptly set it on my husband’s desk for three weeks and ignored it. Until finally, I begged my husband to help me make this tablecloth. And because my husband is the closest thing ~~to committing me~~ to a perfect human being that I know, he agreed.

He cut me a templet from Elinee Studio. And we watched the video Her video is for a rug, but I figured it would be similar enough to my project to work. This was incredibly helpful. Honestly, if we had not watched the video or used her template, we would have had a tear-splattered fiasco at the end of this project.

I took the tablecloth out of the package. And I stared at it. It was itty bitty. My husband looked at it.

“What size did you get?” He asked.

“Um. I don’t know. Whatever size it came in.”

“You mean you didn’t look at what size the Anthropologie tablecloth was and buy the same one?”

“I didn’t even think of doing that,” I said, as air whistled through my ears.

“Well, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know! Maybe I’ll just use it on our breakfast table.”

“Is it square?” Says my my husband, who is the owner of a square breakfast table…as am I.

“Uhhhhh. No. But I could just let the sides dangle.”

Silence.

Then the sound of me tapping on the computer and ordering the correct size off of the Target website. Thankfully they had it, and because I used my Target Debit Card I got free shipping.

But now I had to wait for the correct size to come…

It came rather quickly and we set to work.

It took the two of us approximately three hours to tape the tablecloth.

The next day, we decided to paint it. We mixed up our two bottles of orange fabric paint and quickly realized that it would probably not be enough.

We added some yellow and red that I had on hand and made this color. It still did not look to be enough. I suggested that we paint every other row just in case. Thank goodness we did, because we ran out. As you do…when you suck at DIYing.

Now, we had a soggy half painted tablecloth outside.

I decided to sacrifice my pink paint I had on hand to fill in the other rows. I just wanted to finish it. So, that is how our tablecloth ended up looking like this. A mished mashed version of the original. I am not sure how I feel about it. I would have preferred all orange, but we worked with what we had.

While we were painting, my husband burst out laughing. I smiled and asked him what was so funny. He said he was imagining what I was going to write about this tablecloth in my blog post.

I said, “Don’t laugh. We’re creating a family heirloom.”

He responded, “This will be the first thing our son’s wife will throw away.”

We both laughed. But now that kind of breaks my heart.

We continued to paint. And I asked my husband, “So, what do you think this is going to look like?”

The eternal optimist responded as if there was no other option, “I think it’s going to look great!”

I laughed and said, “Honey, when have we ever painted a straight line? Even with painter’s tape?”

He laughed.

I think you can guess the answer to those questions, too.

This was our finished project. It ended up costing much, much more than I thought it would. My husband is in love with it. Which is cute. I think it is okay. We will definitely use it. And I have happy memories of us making it together. You know, we should make another one! I cannot believe it actually turned out with no major mishaps.

On second thought, maybe waiting for sale isn’t such a bad idea after all.

Look at what us DIYers did to our concrete. Yup! We are ~~super smart~~ professionals. Obviously, if you attempt this, and why wouldn’t you after seeing all of the fun we had, place a tarp underneath your project.

Or maybe you want a permanent reminder of the day you painted a tablecloth?

Because, obviously, we did, too. Forget the tablecloth! Let’s just make a random half painted tablecloth design on our concrete. This is genius if you ever have company you don’t like over. Just start laying dishes on the pattern on the ground. Then sit cross legged around it like you would at a table. How fun would that be?

Thankfully it came off, but I should add paint stripper to the final total. And maybe a therapy bill. Because why do we keep doing this?

Project Costs: $61.76

After tax and my discounts (ebates, using Target Debit Card) Tablecloth = $16.78
Fabric paint (7 4 oz. bottles after tax and discount) = $29.48
Paint pan, 2 rollers, 2 sizes of painter’s tape approximately $15.50 (I lost the receipt. Surprise! But I remember it being $15 something).

Have you DIYed anything lately? Are you ~~crazy~~ crafty? Or are you like us and just think you are sometimes?

Oh, and if you are wondering what became of the “too small” tablecloth, well, I have just the project for it… ; )

* I am playing catchup from being sick. Sorry I am behind on emails and posts. I hope to accomplish everything by Wednesday. A new post will run on Tuesday night. I will also post Wednesday. And I am doing a “live” Thanksgiving post on Thursday, updating throughout the day with things I am grateful for. After that, my regular daily schedule will commence. Thanks for bearing with me! I hope your week is great!”

November 19, 2013 by gn0mel0ver

Mashed Potato Soup

I recently had mashed potato soup at a local eatery and wanted to recreate it at home. I loved the restaurant’s tart cheesiness of its soup. Instead of asking for the recipe, I decided to guess it out at home. This is what I like to do for fun. Yep. Weird.

I think the only difference might be the mirepoix instead of just onions and the use of regular pepper instead of white pepper (if I had to guess… And I did). I used the mirepoix because I wanted to add some additional vegetables hidden for the kids. And I wanted a deeper depth of flavor.

When I announced my intentions of taking my mashed potatoes and making a soup with the leftovers, my husband and son were aghast. They were coveting those mashed potatoes in all their decadent leftover glory. I do make some mean mashed potatoes, if I do say so myself, and they are so incredibly easy. I do not buy into that whole ricer theory or grating. Just mix the darn things and be done with it. ; ).

Mashed potato tip: After you add your cut potatoes to your pot of cold water: Bring them to a boil and then set your timer for twenty three minutes. Not twenty two. Not twenty four. Twenty three. Timing is key. Then immediately drain them. Return them to the pot and cook them for an additional minute, while stirring, to get all of the extra water out. I feel very strongly about this. Who knew?

For this recipe I followed my mashed potato recipe, but I used 6 large baking potatoes. I doubled the butter and added 1/2 cup of sour cream, and a pinch more salt.

I set aside approximately 1 and 1/2 cups of cooked potatoes in a bowl before I made my mashed potatoes (I refrigerated them), because I knew I wanted yummy chunks of potatoes in my soup the next day.

Ingredients:

Approximately 2 cups leftover Mashed potatoes
1 cup mirepoix (I get mine at Trader Joe’s)
1/2 tsp. dried mustard
3 cups shredded white cheddar cheese
1/2 stick butter
1/4 cup flour
5 cups chicken stock
1 1/2 cups cooked potato chunks set aside
1/8 tsp. ground pepper
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

Garnish

I make a pound of bacon and serve the whole crispy slab with it

Other options

chives
Sour cream

I add my bacon to the oven (recipe here) before any of the following steps, so it is cooking at the same time the soup is.

Melt butter on low heat. Add mirepoix. Sprinkle a little salt on this so it sweats out. Cook on medium low heat for 8 minutes until vegetables are tender and onions are clear.

Add flour. Stir continuously for two minutes.

Add chicken stock. Simmer for five minutes.

Blend with stick blender until all of the vegetables are pureed.

Add mashed potatoes

Whisk. This took me about three minutes.

Add cream.

Stir. One minute.

Add cheese

Stir. Two minutes.

Add reserved potato chunks and stir.

Heat up until hot.

Turn off stovetop.

Serve in individual bowls. Garnish with bacon, sour cream, and chives (if desired). Please be careful! This soup is so hot! I burned the roof of my mouth…badly. Patience has never been my virtue.

After my family ate their dinner, both my husband and son both declared this an excellent use of the leftover potatoes. They are all ready asking me to make it again. It was scrumptious. If I do say so myself. And I do. : )

So do my thighs.

Gnome Lover

Stumbling through life while still having fun

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It’s The Little Things: Pie Crust Cookies

Dear Children: Halfway

I’m Crafty Crazy

Mashed Potato Soup