December 30, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

Easy Lasagna

Lasagna.

My mother makes the best lasagna in the world. Happy Birthday Mom! I love you! I ask for it for my own birthday. This is not her recipe. But I still think it is really good. I have made lasagna for years. In fact, it was the first “complicated” meal I ever attempted.

It’s is one of those dishes that looks hard to make, but is incredibly easy to execute. I find it calming to make the layers. I also feel like a superhero when I view the final completed project. And who doesn’t want to feel like a superhero? Well, unless it is The Hulk. Nobody wants to feel like The Hulk. Unless you are a ten year old boy. Or me, apparently from all of the posts I have done on it. But even then, you gotta admit the name leaves much to be desired.

Remember my new favorite spaghetti recipe that uses coffee grounds and is made in the crockpot? Well, I usually have three quarts of sauce left after the first dinner that I separate into three individual quart containers and freeze for use at a later date. I have friends with three sons. Actually, when I think about it, I have a lot of friends with three sons. I have heard that with that many boys they do not get as many leftovers as I do with a recipe. In fact, the exact words were, “What are leftovers?” I think with the crockpot spaghetti recipe, they would probably only have one to two quarts left after the initial dinner. There should still be enough to freeze at least one additional meal, so if you have a larger family, do not be discouraged. Make it. Save the rest. Then make a giant lasagna that will appease all. Even three growing boys.

The other day I took one quart out of the freezer. This is completely off topic, but make sure you defrost any sauces appropriately before you reheat them. I thought it would be a great idea to just throw the frozen sauce into a pan and bring it to heat. The sauce broke up into nuclear hot parts and frozen chunks. It splattered out and hit my arm where it made a small hole. I eventually had to see a doctor for it. I will definitely have a scar from it, so please be careful in reheating.

So, I defrosted the sauce first and then reheated the sauce and added an additional jar of pasta sauce to make it stretch further.

Then I just layered it into a lasagna. It was so good.

Okay. Finally. On to the recipe:

Ingredients:

1 quart of prepared spaghetti sauce (I use this recipe, but you could use your favorite)
1 jar of your favorite pasta sauce
One package of lasagna noodles (you can use no-boil ones or the fresh ones above. I highly recommend the fresh ones above, found in the refrigerated section of the grocery store near the ricotta. Do not use regular lasagna noodles unless you boil them first. I have attempted to use them without boiling. They are not as good. They are about one minute before al dente tasting)
2 cups grated mozarella cheese
1 cup grated parmesan cheese
15-16 oz. of ricotta cheese

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Yell, “You’re making me hungry! You won’t like me when I’m hungry!” If your family stares at you during this time, stare back, unwavering in your lasagna conviction.

Defrost spaghetti sauce for two-three hours and then reheat in a large pot over low heat with additional jar of pasta sauce until hot. Turn off heat.

Take a 9 X 13 pan and ladle in some spaghetti sauce into the bottom of the pan until the bottom is just coated. About 2/3 cup.

Take lasagna noodles and lay on top of sauce. This is two of the fresh ones above.

Take half of your ricotta and smear over lasagna noodles. Ladle one third of your sauce over the top, sprinkle one cup of mozzarella cheese. Place noodles over cheese. Spread the remaining ricotta over the noodles. Ladle one third of your sauce over the top. Sprinkle one cup of mozzarella. Lay noodles over cheese. Ladle the remaining sauce over noodles. Sprinkle one cup of Parmesan cheese over the top.

Cover with foil and bake for thirty minutes. After thirty minutes, uncover and bake for an additional fifteen minutes.

Remove from oven and let rest for five to ten minutes.

And serve.

Hulk Hands ~~not~~ optional.

December 11, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

The Easiest Salted Caramel Cookie Bars

Come here.

Closer.

There.

That should be close enough. I have a secret I want to share with you. It involves zero guilt and tons more time on your hands. The secret is this, “There ain’t no shame in the faking it game.”

I read a food blog I adore recently that condemned store bought pie crust. I love that blog. This ain’t that blog. I like homemade pie crust. I like homemade cookie dough. I like my house vacuumed frequently. I like to read after dinner. But we all know there simply isn’t enough time in the day for all of our “likes” and “wants.” Heck. There is barely enough time for the “needs.”

So let’s fake us some homemade cookie bars, shall we?

I won’t tell if you don’t.

I was so pleasantly surprised how well these cookie bars turned out. I do highly recommend using parchment paper, because the bars are too sticky to get out otherwise.

Ingredients:

2 packages of sugar cookie dough logs or 1 package of the preflattened sugar cookie dough (I prefer the preflattened kind made by Nestle. It ends up being cheaper, but the logs make a prettier cookie bar)
1/3 cup caramel sauce
1/3 cup toffee bits
Sea salt
Parchment paper

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Place parchment paper in an 11 X 7 baking dish. Take a log of sugar cookie dough and press it into place over the parchment paper or lay one layer of your flat cookie dough and push it into the corners of the parchment paper (depending upon which premade sugar cookie dough you purchased). Put into the oven and bake for fifteen minutes.

Remove from oven. Microwave caramel for 25 seconds to soften and make it easier to pour. Measure it out. Pour over slightly cooked cookie dough. Sprinkle the toffee bits on top. Now sprinkle sea salt over top. Just give it a nice dusting.

I have a hand-cranked dispenser from Costco, so I turn it seven to ten times over the caramel.

Now break up your remaining cookie dough log over the top if you bought the logs or simply place the other cookie sheet over the top, if you bought the preflattened kind.

Put the whole thing back into the oven and bake for twenty five minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool for one hour before cutting into bars. I lift the parchment paper with the cookie bar in place and then lay it on my counter before I cut this into bars with my pizza cutter.

Now eat this sinfully simple (or would it be simply sinful dessert?). Either way, it is good. It is quick. It is easy. This is my husband’s favorite cookie lately. It is equally good served warm with vanilla ice cream on top drizzled with caramel sauce.

Just bake it. (I am pretty sure Nike did not mean bake a million calories into a dessert when they made that slogan, but I will oblige them by running to the stove the moment these babies are done. That’s gotta burn a zillion calories, right?).

November 4, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

Meatloaf Muffins

I feel the same way about meatloaf that I do about meatballs. Ugh! The name! It really is gag inducing. I will eat a bite of it and be enjoying it, but then it always happens… I start to think, “I am eating a loaf of meat.” A shaped form of meat. M. E. A. T. And then I will push it to the side and eat my mashed potatoes. Which, really isn’t winning any name contests of its own anytime soon.

I sure know how to sell a recipe, don’t I?

Well, this is all to say my husband LOVES meatloaf.

Loves.

And I like to make him happy. Making him happy makes me happy. I am hoping when he reads this he will remember this meal and my sentiments and not the dress that came in the mail today.

So, sometimes I form a mashed-together-pile-of-meat into a loaf. Just for him. I’m a keeper.

Still selling this recipe, aren’t I? Bear with me.

A few years ago, I made a batch of spicy meatloaf muffins (that recipe is not the one featured here). The kids liked the meatloaf made in muffin tins. I liked not having to cut a loaf of meat. Swallow. Breathe. And the other day I decided to make meatloaf muffins again using a variation of my meatball recipe. Would that make these meat muffins? There has to be a better name!

I served the meat muffins over mashed potatoes and it was so good. My husband actually groaned. And in a good way, not in a, “these recipe names are disgusting,” way that you are doing now.

I will absolutely keep making these little round suns of meaty happiness over clouds of potatoes. They are easy. They are fun. And everyone liked them.

Ingredients:

1/2 pound ground pork
1/2 pound of ground beef (I like 96/4 so that there is not a huge layer of fat on top of the meat at the end. I hate that!)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 cup dried Italian bread crumbs
1 egg
1/4 cup diced Onions cooked sautéed in 2 Tbsp. butter
Pinch chili flakes
2 Tablespoons of Dalmatia My Mom’s Red Pepper Spread (any kind of red pepper spread is good. I also really like the one Trader Joe’s carries)
1 tsp. worcestershire sauce
1 clove or 1/2 tsp. of minced garlic (sautéed at the last minute with the onions)
1/4-1/2 cup ketchup

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Grease muffin pans. This will yield eight meatloaf muffins.

Your package of meats are probably about one pound each. If that is true, split each package in half and save the remainder of the meats for another meal. I used mine as a substitute for the whole pound of meat in the coffee ground spaghetti recipe that I love. It was delicious.

In a small pan, sauté onions in the butter for 7 minutes. Add garlic and sauté for an additional one minute.

Add butter, garlic and onions to a large mixing bowl. Allow to cool for five minutes.

Add all remaining ingredients except ketchup and mix with hands until incorporated. You do not want to over mix. Just make sure everything is together.

Now with an ice cream scoop, scoop meat into muffin pan.

Repeat until all meat is in the pans. Now layer ketchup over each muffin so that no meat pokes through.

Place in oven and bake for twenty-twenty five minutes. I removed mine at twenty two minutes and cut open one to make sure it was done inside. I know this goes against every culinary rule (but, I mean really, we’re making meatloaf muffins here. How technically accurate do I need to be?), but I rest my meatloaf muffins on a paper towel for two minutes because I do not like the excess fat.

I served mine on top of mashed potatoes.

And it was good, despite the flaw of its name. It had a perfect blend of flavors and the creamy mashed potatoes brought it all together. I am actually craving them as I write this. I am a meatloaf convert. Let’s just keep this between us.

Shakespeare once wrote,

“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Well…

“Meatloaf by any other name will still taste of meat.”

Hmmmm… still not sure I’m sellin’ these right.

October 15, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

Oatmeal Chocolate Cookie PMS Bars

These really should be called PMS Bars. Seriously. And I almost named this post that, but since this is not my recipe, I did not go there.

But then I did.

‘Cause I am a walking contradiction.

Who also happens to be a chocolate monster.

Besides we all know PMS just just stands for Pass Me Some. And I definitely want someone to pass me some of these chocolate oatmeal bars. They are gooey. Super easy to make and oh, so, delicious. I can say that because this is not my recipe. I did change a few things so I am going to post the ingredients and directions, however, I barely touched the recipe so the credit for this scrumptiousness goes completely to the blog Megan and Claudy. And if you want the original recipe minus talks of “Pinch My Skittles!”, I recommend heading over there. If you want to see how I made them, here it is:

But first, did ya know that Permanent Markers Stain? Seriously, I can’t stop. It’s a problem.

Ingredients:

3 1/4 cup Wondra flour (original recipe calls for 2 1/2 cups reg. flour and that would be fine. I was out of regular flour when I made these. I am a bad food hoarder)
2 1/2 cups regular oats
2 sticks of softened salted butter
2 eggs
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2 cups brown sugar (I always bake with organic brown sugar. It does make a difference)
2 tsp. vanilla
1/3 cup milk

Chocolate Filling:

1 14 oz. can Eagle’s Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk
1/3 cup butter
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips (a 12 oz. bag)
1 tsp. vanilla

Directions:

I used a stand mixer, but a hand mixer would be just fine, too.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Grease a 9 X 13 pan and set aside.

Beat together butter and brown sugar until light (about 1 1/2 min.). Add vanilla and milk. Beat together until mixed. Add eggs one at a time. Beat the first one for about twenty seconds before adding the next one. Beat the second egg in the mixture until mixture fluffs up about thirty seconds. Add salt and baking soda and mix. Add flour and mix. Add oats and mix.

Add the chocolate filling ingredients into a sauce pan over medium heat and whisk until melted together. Turn off heat.

Place 2/3 of your cookie mixture into the bottom of your greased 9 X 13 pan. Pour chocolate filling mixture over top. Pause to lick spatula. Place now-contaminated spatula in sink. Praise yourself for being sneaky and clean. With the remainder of the cookie dough, grab pieces and just place over the top of the chocolate filling, trying to cover the top. The top will not be completely covered and that is okay. You want to see the oooeey gooey sinfulness peeking through the cookie dough.

Place the pan into the oven and bake for 45 minutes (depending on if you like gooey cookies or more sturdy ones. The actual recipe called for twenty five minutes, and that would be good if you like very, very gooey bars). If top starts to get too brown, you can cover it with foil. My bars were still moist after forty five minutes.

Remove the pan and let cool for an hour before cutting into the bars. Samurai Sword ~~optional~~ not recommended. Do you think I could have picked a bigger knife?

After you make these, you might exclaim “Pickle My Stars!” and then “Pleasure My Sneakers!” If I am around I will know exactly what you mean. And be happy. ‘Cause I know you will give me some. If I’m not around, you might want to whisper your exclamations. Some People Might Sneer. And that would be bad.

Period.

Gnome Lover

Stumbling through life while still having fun

directions

Easy Lasagna

Meatloaf Muffins

Oatmeal Chocolate Cookie PMS Bars