October 15, 2014 by gn0mel0ver

Oatmeal Chocolate Cookie PMS Bars

These really should be called PMS Bars. Seriously. And I almost named this post that, but since this is not my recipe, I did not go there.

But then I did.

‘Cause I am a walking contradiction.

Who also happens to be a chocolate monster.

Besides we all know PMS just just stands for Pass Me Some. And I definitely want someone to pass me some of these chocolate oatmeal bars. They are gooey. Super easy to make and oh, so, delicious. I can say that because this is not my recipe. I did change a few things so I am going to post the ingredients and directions, however, I barely touched the recipe so the credit for this scrumptiousness goes completely to the blog Megan and Claudy. And if you want the original recipe minus talks of “Pinch My Skittles!”, I recommend heading over there. If you want to see how I made them, here it is:

But first, did ya know that Permanent Markers Stain? Seriously, I can’t stop. It’s a problem.

Ingredients:

3 1/4 cup Wondra flour (original recipe calls for 2 1/2 cups reg. flour and that would be fine. I was out of regular flour when I made these. I am a bad food hoarder)
2 1/2 cups regular oats
2 sticks of softened salted butter
2 eggs
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2 cups brown sugar (I always bake with organic brown sugar. It does make a difference)
2 tsp. vanilla
1/3 cup milk

Chocolate Filling:

1 14 oz. can Eagle’s Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk
1/3 cup butter
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips (a 12 oz. bag)
1 tsp. vanilla

Directions:

I used a stand mixer, but a hand mixer would be just fine, too.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Grease a 9 X 13 pan and set aside.

Beat together butter and brown sugar until light (about 1 1/2 min.). Add vanilla and milk. Beat together until mixed. Add eggs one at a time. Beat the first one for about twenty seconds before adding the next one. Beat the second egg in the mixture until mixture fluffs up about thirty seconds. Add salt and baking soda and mix. Add flour and mix. Add oats and mix.

Add the chocolate filling ingredients into a sauce pan over medium heat and whisk until melted together. Turn off heat.

Place 2/3 of your cookie mixture into the bottom of your greased 9 X 13 pan. Pour chocolate filling mixture over top. Pause to lick spatula. Place now-contaminated spatula in sink. Praise yourself for being sneaky and clean. With the remainder of the cookie dough, grab pieces and just place over the top of the chocolate filling, trying to cover the top. The top will not be completely covered and that is okay. You want to see the oooeey gooey sinfulness peeking through the cookie dough.

Place the pan into the oven and bake for 45 minutes (depending on if you like gooey cookies or more sturdy ones. The actual recipe called for twenty five minutes, and that would be good if you like very, very gooey bars). If top starts to get too brown, you can cover it with foil. My bars were still moist after forty five minutes.

Remove the pan and let cool for an hour before cutting into the bars. Samurai Sword ~~optional~~ not recommended. Do you think I could have picked a bigger knife?

After you make these, you might exclaim “Pickle My Stars!” and then “Pleasure My Sneakers!” If I am around I will know exactly what you mean. And be happy. ‘Cause I know you will give me some. If I’m not around, you might want to whisper your exclamations. Some People Might Sneer. And that would be bad.

Period.

November 27, 2013 by gn0mel0ver

Cookie Butter Oatmeal Cookies

A tasty friendship
Cookie butter and oatmeal
Together at last

So, cookie butter in cookies? Oh, yes. Honestly, this cookie dough could be eaten by itself without the addition of chocolate. But if I am going to indulge, I want it to mean something. Let’s take this relationship to the next level, cookie butter. Let’s make some babies. I mean, um, cookies. Let’s make some cookies. No need to rush things. Now, just take off that lid…

This recipe makes approximately 40 cookies.

1/3 cup cookie butter
1 stick (8 Tbsp.) softened salted butter
1/2 tsp. vanilla
90 pieces of Clasen sea salt caramel melting chocolate (about 2/3 pound)*
2 1/4 cups flour
1/2 cup shortening
2 cups brown sugar packed
2 eggs
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 1/2 cups oats

Preheat your oven to 360 degrees or 335 degrees convect bake.

In a mixer or with a handheld mixer in a bowl, cream together butter, shortening, and sugar. Add vanilla. Mix. Add cookie butter mix.

Add eggs one at a time into the batter and beat approximately thirty seconds each.

At this point I change attachments from the wire whisk to the paddle. If you are using a hand mixer, mix the following in by hand. Mix in salt, cinnamon, and baking soda.

Mix in flour.

Mix in oats.

With a small cookie dispenser, dispense cookies onto a cookie sheet. Press a melting chocolate into the center of the dollop to flatten cookie. Shape cookie back into a circle around chocolate. Bake 10-11 minutes until lightly brown.

Remove from oven. With a spatula, transfer cookies to a cooling rack. Repeat process until dough is used up.

Melt 50 melting chocolates in a small bowl in the microwave for thirty second intervals. Stir after every thirty seconds until completely melted. Place paper towel under cooling rack. Drizzle melted chocolate over cookies.

Let cookies cool and cover them. If you do not cover, cookies will harden over night. You can reverse the hardened process by placing a slice of fresh bread into the cookie container all day. Or reheat your cookies in the microwave for twenty seconds. But I would just cover them and save yourself a few steps.

And enjoy! Cookie butter you are so good to me. Hmmm, what would our babies ~~taste~~ look like?

* You could use Hershey’s Kisses for a chocolatey version, if you do not have access to Clasen Brand melting chocolates. You could also just mix in some chocolate chips or raisins and call it a day.

November 20, 2013 by gn0mel0ver

It’s The Little Things: Cookie Butter!

Oh, yes, cookie butter. I wish I had it on camera, the moment I first saw this spectacular creation on a giant display at the store. I think time froze as I reread and reread the label, my mouth gaping open. Drool puddling on the floor. I, of course, grabbed a jar. When you see something with words that you normally associate the other way around (Butter Cookies), you have to grab it.

I got home and immediately opened the jar. I tried it. Oh my goodness! Heaven. I checked the calories. Ninety calories for one tablespoon. Reality.

I knew I would have to eat this with something healthy to not feel like Goldie Hawn in “Death Becomes Her.” Anytime I eat frosting from a can, my husband reminds me of that scene. So, I tried it with apple slices. I love apple slices with peanut butter. Now, I love apples slices with cookie butter. It is better. Trust me.

And because I am a hoarder with OCD, I rushed out the next day and bought another jar. It tastes like condensed thick creamy spice cookies. Amazing!

I made a cookie butter cake. Um, this is what it looked like for a week. Not my finest creation. How could I ruin my cookie butter this way?

Then I made cookie butter oatmeal cookies. Now we’re talking. Do you hear that? It’s the sound of my thighs clapping. Recipe for this to come. You will be oh, so happy.

I have also learned that Trader Joe’s carries cookie butter. There is a rumor on the internet that they only allow the purchase of two jars per customer. Is this true? I have not stalked the shelves here, yet. They also make a chocolate version and a crunchy version. Oh! The choices. The possibilities. The dirty spoons.

It’s the little things: it’s creamed cookies! Creamed cookies! Dreams do come true.

Have you tried this yet? Do you hoard it? I am scared they are going to run out.

Gnome Lover

Stumbling through life while still having fun

oatmeal

Oatmeal Chocolate Cookie PMS Bars