Sometimes I do not make the right choices. Shocking, right?
A couple of years ago when my son wanted to bring something to show and tell, I had a few doubts. Remember, the teacher had all ready heard, “My mom bought our dog while she was on drugs.” I needed to make sure I made the right impression with the teacher.
The item in question was a set of Hulk Hands that when smashed together made a variety of sounds. They were bright green, soft and padded and slipped easily over my young son’s hands. I was worried that maybe they weren’t quite p.c. with the school’s anti-violence rules.
When pressed together, the hands would omit a loud, deep, grunting Hulk voice. After a couple of presses of the hands, Hulk would declare in his deep gruff manner, “You’re making me angry! You won’t like me when I’m angry!”
My son was heart broken when I told him he could not take his green friends to school. Hmmm. Well, maybe I would just call the school and let them decide.
“Hello. Elementary School name here, how can I help you?”
“Oh, yes, well you see, today is my son’s share day at school,” I began.
“And well, I need to know if what he wants to bring in, is appropriate to share at school,” I continued.
“Okay. What is it?” she asked curiously.
“Well, they are a set of Hulk Hands,” I said.
“Yes, Hulk Hands. You know the big giant green dude from the comics? They are his hands.” I wasn’t stopping now.
“I don’t see why that would be a problem,” the woman answered.
“They makes noises,” I mumbled.
“Yes, noises. The hands speak in Hulk’s voice.” I continued to ramble crazily.
Silence. And then, “What do the hands say?”
This time I didn’t hesitate. In my best, loudest Hulk voice, I grunted into the phone, “YOU’RE MAKING ME ANGRY! YOU WON’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY!”
I think I scared the s*** out of her. She was quiet for a very long time.
“No… No, I don’t think those will be appropriate for school. I am sure he can bring in something else,” she stammered.
My face was red, Hulk would have been so ashamed. Thank God she couldn’t see me. “Okay, thank you. That shouldn’t be a problem,” I quickly got off the phone.
I do not remember what my son ended up sharing. The rest of the morning was a blur as I realized I was now “that mom.” You know, the crazy mom that all the teachers talk about. Well maybe not, but I do know that every time I enter that school…the receptionist always looks at my hands.