Hulk Hands

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Sometimes I do not make the right choices. Shocking, right?

A couple of years ago when my son wanted to bring something to show and tell, I had a few doubts. Remember, the teacher had all ready heard, “My mom bought our dog while she was on drugs.” I needed to make sure I made the right impression with the teacher.

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The item in question was a set of Hulk Hands that when smashed together made a variety of sounds. They were bright green, soft and padded and slipped easily over my young son’s hands. I was worried that maybe they weren’t quite p.c. with the school’s anti-violence rules.

When pressed together, the hands would omit a loud, deep, grunting Hulk voice. After a couple of presses of the hands, Hulk would declare in his deep gruff manner, “You’re making me angry! You won’t like me when I’m angry!”

My son was heart broken when I told him he could not take his green friends to school. Hmmm. Well, maybe I would just call the school and let them decide.

Ring. Ring.

“Hello. Elementary School name here, how can I help you?”

“Oh, yes, well you see, today is my son’s share day at school,” I began.

“Yes?”

“And well, I need to know if what he wants to bring in, is appropriate to share at school,” I continued.

“Okay. What is it?” she asked curiously.

“Well, they are a set of Hulk Hands,” I said.

“Hulk Hands?”

“Yes, Hulk Hands. You know the big giant green dude from the comics? They are his hands.” I wasn’t stopping now.

“I don’t see why that would be a problem,” the woman answered.

“They makes noises,” I mumbled.

“Noises?”

“Yes, noises. The hands speak in Hulk’s voice.” I continued to ramble crazily.

Silence. And then, “What do the hands say?”

This time I didn’t hesitate. In my best, loudest Hulk voice, I grunted into the phone, “YOU’RE MAKING ME ANGRY! YOU WON’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY!”

I think I scared the s*** out of her. She was quiet for a very long time.

“No… No, I don’t think those will be appropriate for school. I am sure he can bring in something else,” she stammered.

My face was red, Hulk would have been so ashamed. Thank God she couldn’t see me. “Okay, thank you. That shouldn’t be a problem,” I quickly got off the phone.

I do not remember what my son ended up sharing. The rest of the morning was a blur as I realized I was now “that mom.” You know, the crazy mom that all the teachers talk about. Well maybe not, but I do know that every time I enter that school…the receptionist always looks at my hands.

12 thoughts on “Hulk Hands

  1. LOL! That is SO funny, Jenni! I think he should have been able to bring them! You have to watch The Big Bang Theory episode regarding the Hulk Hands. It was hysterical!

    • Thank you, Lorraine! I know, now that it has been years. I think I should have let him bring them in. They are not bad! I have never watched The Big Bang Theory. My mother loves it. I will have to check it out. A Hulk Hands episode? I can’t wait!

      Thanks for letting me know! Have a great week!

      Jenni

  2. Just read this after ‘The Girl Who Almost …’, and realized how far behind I am in reading your blog. I laughed, couldn’t think of a nicer young man to share ‘Hulk Hands’. (Of course, I’ve never seen Hulk Hands, or heard of anyone who owns them.) And, yes I would bet the receptionist entertained people with her Hulk Hands, crazy mom, phone call story. Thanks for sharing!

    • Thanks Auntie M. Since that story, he has been using those hands again. It was actually a great toy to have lasted almost five years. I hope you guys are doing well. Mom said she made some honey ice cream the other day. YUM!

      Have a wonderful day!

      Jenni

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    • and now i’m so confused because it let me post this comment, but my other two novels that i posted earlier didn’t show up. i think maybe i sent you a message instead? i’m not very wordpress savvy.

      • Hi Deanna! You actually emailed me the other comments. I am going to go respond to you in just a second. Sorry for the confusion! : )

        Have a wonderful weekend!

        Jenni

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