“I did a bad thing.”

IMG_2115.JPG

My husband crawled into bed next to me and laid his head on my shoulder. He opened his mouth and instead of sweet words of love pouring from his lips, five scary words came out instead. “I did a bad thing,” he mumbled into my arm with worry.

“What did you do?” I was not too concerned, but my heart fluttered a tiny bit and my stomach did a little flip.

“I ate your all of your reese’s pieces.”

The body spin cycle stopped and I wrung out my emotions by hand.

“Oh. I don’t care. I forgot I bought them.” Then I laughed. I stopped and looked at him.

“It’s not like The Twix Bar.”

“I didn’t eat that Twix bar! Look, I ate your candy and then I told you about it. If I had eaten your Twix bar, I would also have told you about it.”

“Not if you are trying to throw me off your trail.”

“Are you saying I ate your reese’s pieces and then confessed just to convince you that I did not eat your Twix bar sixteen years ago?”

“It is highly suspicious.”

“I didn’t eat your Twix bar!”

“That is exactly what someone who didn’t eat my Twix bar would say.”

The criminal sighed into my arm. His breath smelled of sweet peanut butter… And lies.

Oatmeal Chocolate Cookie PMS Bars

IMG_0281.JPG

These really should be called PMS Bars. Seriously. And I almost named this post that, but since this is not my recipe, I did not go there.

But then I did.

‘Cause I am a walking contradiction.

Who also happens to be a chocolate monster.

IMG_0289.JPG

Besides we all know PMS just just stands for Pass Me Some. And I definitely want someone to pass me some of these chocolate oatmeal bars. They are gooey. Super easy to make and oh, so, delicious. I can say that because this is not my recipe. I did change a few things so I am going to post the ingredients and directions, however, I barely touched the recipe so the credit for this scrumptiousness goes completely to the blog Megan and Claudy. And if you want the original recipe minus talks of “Pinch My Skittles!”, I recommend heading over there. If you want to see how I made them, here it is:

But first, did ya know that Permanent Markers Stain? Seriously, I can’t stop. It’s a problem.

Ingredients:

3 1/4 cup Wondra flour (original recipe calls for 2 1/2 cups reg. flour and that would be fine. I was out of regular flour when I made these. I am a bad food hoarder)
2 1/2 cups regular oats
2 sticks of softened salted butter
2 eggs
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2 cups brown sugar (I always bake with organic brown sugar. It does make a difference)
2 tsp. vanilla
1/3 cup milk

Chocolate Filling:

1 14 oz. can Eagle’s Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk
1/3 cup butter
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips (a 12 oz. bag)
1 tsp. vanilla

IMG_0294.JPG

Directions:

I used a stand mixer, but a hand mixer would be just fine, too.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Grease a 9 X 13 pan and set aside.

Beat together butter and brown sugar until light (about 1 1/2 min.). Add vanilla and milk. Beat together until mixed. Add eggs one at a time. Beat the first one for about twenty seconds before adding the next one. Beat the second egg in the mixture until mixture fluffs up about thirty seconds. Add salt and baking soda and mix. Add flour and mix. Add oats and mix.

Add the chocolate filling ingredients into a sauce pan over medium heat and whisk until melted together. Turn off heat.

IMG_0295.JPG

Place 2/3 of your cookie mixture into the bottom of your greased 9 X 13 pan. Pour chocolate filling mixture over top. Pause to lick spatula. Place now-contaminated spatula in sink. Praise yourself for being sneaky and clean. With the remainder of the cookie dough, grab pieces and just place over the top of the chocolate filling, trying to cover the top. The top will not be completely covered and that is okay. You want to see the oooeey gooey sinfulness peeking through the cookie dough.

Place the pan into the oven and bake for 45 minutes (depending on if you like gooey cookies or more sturdy ones. The actual recipe called for twenty five minutes, and that would be good if you like very, very gooey bars). If top starts to get too brown, you can cover it with foil. My bars were still moist after forty five minutes.

IMG_0282.JPG

IMG_0277.JPG

Remove the pan and let cool for an hour before cutting into the bars. Samurai Sword optional not recommended. Do you think I could have picked a bigger knife?

IMG_0296.JPG

After you make these, you might exclaim “Pickle My Stars!” and then “Pleasure My Sneakers!” If I am around I will know exactly what you mean. And be happy. ‘Cause I know you will give me some. If I’m not around, you might want to whisper your exclamations. Some People Might Sneer. And that would be bad.

Period.

Happy 4th of July!

20140703-144623.jpg

I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday! And for those of you in other countries, I hope you have a lovely Friday. We used to always have a party at our house to celebrate, because we happen to have a great view of the city’s fireworks from our front yard. But my husband keeps having to work on the holiday and so I am I spending it with my kids. He will be home in time to grill dinner and watch the fireworks, but not in time to conduct a party.

I am just hoping the neighbors do not break out their potato gun this year and they do not burn our house down!

20140703-144855.jpg

Stay safe and happy and enjoy that barbecue! We are making my husband’s lemon chicken.

20140703-150444.jpg

I have three outfits in my head for the day. I love this Modcloth dress from last year. Another choice will be my white H&M dress with the beaded red, white, and blue necklace and red sandals. Or I might wear my white Free People clearance find from last summer with my vest I just purchased for 75% off.

I could also wear my Caravane Dress shown previously in this post. I figure it will hide the sins of the drink below.

Or since I am not having a party and only my neighbors will see me, I might stick to jeans.

I plan on holding my children close as we watch fireworks. Our car will be on in our driveway and as the local radio station plays the final song as they do each and every year, “Proud To Be An American,” my eyes will well up as they do each and every year. My husband served in The Army and I am just so proud of him and all of the men and women who have served our country. That song always brings it home for me. The sky will explode for a mere moment and my heart will pound to its beat.

I can’t wait!

20140703-153056.jpg

What are your plans for the day? I am making The Relaxer from Mama’s Fish House as the cocktail of the day. I opted to use pineapple juice instead of fresh pineapple because that is what I felt they did at the restaurant. I changed the quantities of two ingredients. Instead of 1/4 oz. pineapple juice the recipe calls for (I actually think that might have been a typo, because that would only be about a Tablespoon), I added 1/4 cup and instead of 1/2 cup of ice, I added one cup. Here is the recipe. It is amazing! It tastes just like Maui to me. Which I guess means a chocolate piƱa colada.

Happy Fourth of July!

Peanut Butter Nutella Cookies

20140403-110323.jpg

Be still my heart. Girdle my belly. Cinch in my thighs.

‘Cause I am about to share a cookie recipe that has become my new favorite.

And I cannot stop making them.

And I cannot stop eating them.

This is a humble cookie. It is simple. I find I like cookies with those two descriptions the best.

Most cookies are best the very first day you make them. These cookies stay soft and yummy for at least two and a half days (this is the longest length of time they have ever lasted in our house).

When I was eight, my grandmother gifted me a cookbook called, “For Good Measure: A Cookbook For Children” (I highly recommend this cookbook for children. Heck, I still use it myself). In it, was a peanut butter cookie recipe. I have never made or had a peanut butter cookie as good as the peanut butter cookies made from that recipe. I have been making those peanut butter cookies for twenty eight years. Sometimes I change it around by adding new ingredients. This recipe is adapted from that one. Because that recipe is so simple, this makes these cookies a cinch to put together.

Here is a little poem my thighs threw together for you, in honor of these cookies:

The faster to make.
The easier to bake.
My mouth will wake.
And my thighs shall quake.
For goodness sake.
This poem shall take.
The cake.

For being the worst…

The cookies take first.

On to the recipe!:

Ingredients:

1/4 cup smooth peanut butter
1/4 cup of Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)
2 Tbsp. Milk
1 stick of softened salted butter (8 Tbsp.)
1 egg
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
Caviar from 1 vanilla bean (if you do not have this, you can increase your total vanilla extract to 1 1/2 tsp.)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup organic brown sugar (it makes a difference)
1 3/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda

This recipe makes twenty four cookies.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. If you have a convection oven, preheat oven to 325 convect bake.

Pour the 1/2 cup granulated sugar in a separate bowl and set aside while you work on the following.

In a bowl with a hand mixer or in your bowl on your stand mixer, beat butter and brown sugar until light. Stop mixer and add in your vanilla and vanilla bean caviar. Mix.

20140403-173745.jpg

Now add peanut butter and Nutella and mix together until completely incorporated.

20140403-110411.jpg

Add the milk and egg and mix until light and fluffy.

Turn mixer to low and add in salt and baking soda. Mix until incorporated.

20140403-110503.jpg

Add flour and mix.

20140403-110541.jpg

20140403-110614.jpg

Turn off mixer. Now take a small ball of cookie dough and roll it on your hands. Drop the ball into the bowl of granulated sugar and gently roll it around.

20140403-110652.jpg

Place the ball of dough on a baking sheet. Repeat this step until your baking sheet is filled with cookie dough balls evenly spaced apart.

20140403-110820.jpg

With a fork, make two flat indentations onto each cookie.

20140403-110946.jpg

With a spoon, scoop up some of the granulated sugar and pour a little sugar over marks left from the fork.

Place baking sheet into the oven and bake for 10-11 minutes until edges are just a little brown. Do not cook longer. You do not want these overcooked.

20140403-111046.jpg

Transfer baked cookies to a cooling rack.

Repeat with remaining dough. Turn oven off. Enjoy!

20140403-111449.jpg

I think these cookies are better completely cooled down. There is just somethin’ that happens to the Nutella and peanut butter when they blend together at that time.

Now I’m off to make these guys.
My thighs…
They sighs.

20140408-165252.jpg

P.S. I shared this on Savvy Southern Style.

And My Romantic Home.