Watching: Housebound

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Are you a fan of horror movies? Well, I am not. That is to say, I am not now. However, that was not always the case. I believe all teenagers go through a phase where they cannot get enough of fear inflicted adrenaline. I think it has to do with the fact that their brains are not fully developed and there is a part of the brain tissue that makes one aware of danger and mortality that does not become fully active until the age of nineteen (I played a doctor on t.v. once. Just kidding. I once drank coffee and watched a doctor describe this phenomenon on t.v. once. Which, if you ask me, is exactly the same thing. I wonder which part of my brain has not fully developed yet. don’t answer that).

Does “The Walking Dead” count as horror? Well, of course, you answer. But does it really count as horror when the viewer reads the entire plotline before each episode so that they may cover their eyes or leave the room well in advance of each gory scene? I am not sure. But I do watch “The Walking Dead.” Or at least most of it anyway.

What is my point?

Sorry. I tend to prattle on. My point being that I am a wimp. Being scared is, well, scary. But I watched a horror movie recently that I really enjoyed. In fact, I liked it so much that I made my husband watch it with me again the next day. I liked it so much that I decided to write a post about it.

I liked it. A lot…

My daughter and I were on a date. Don’t let her know that I just called it that. We went out to dinner where I ordered the chicken strips and she ordered the halibut. The person bringing out the food set the plates down wrong. I can’t imagine why.

My husband was at work. My son was at a sleepover (the technical term for a boy slumber party. Don’t ever call a preteen boy’s sleepover a slumber party. It is funny the things you do wrong learn as a mom). My daughter and I decided to lay in my bed and watch a scary movie together when we got home from our dinner.

I was dreading it.

But as I was flipping through the movie choices, I stumbled upon “Housebound.” I looked it up on Rotten Tomatoes where it had a rating of 96%. It is rare for a horror movie to get a rating above a 65% so I was intrigued. We read the reviews and decided to go for it.

I cannot really describe it. If I were to use two words to do so, I would say it was wonderfully absurd. I had read the reviews online calling it a horror/comedy and I could not understand what that meant. But then I watched it and it all became clear.

The synopsis is a young girl (Kylie) in New Zealand with a cruddy attitude who commits a crime and her sentence is having to be under house arrest in her mother Miriam’s home. Kylie quickly learns her mother thinks the house is haunted. And the story goes from there.

Here is why it is different from other horror movies and why it works:

1. Why do they stay in the house? You know how irksome it is screaming at the t.v. when you are watching a horror movie wondering why the heck the people just don’t leave? I mean seriously, who would stay in those houses? Nobody. Not a single sane person. I liked that “Housebound” explains from the get-go why the main character has to stay in the house. It is essentially her prison. It was a different scenario and I appreciated that the writer, Gerard Johnston, (who was also the director) treated the audience with intellectual respect.

2. The main character isn’t an idiot. How many times do we see the heroine in a horror flick be a screaming and whimpering fool? I am not saying that I would not be the same way. But it is annoying. This character is a bada** from the beginning. Kylie has an attitude but it works in a horror movie. You don’t like her but you feel like she is capable. All of the side characters are well executed (pun not intended) as well. They had a genuine depth to them that I was not expecting in a horror movie.

3. Moments. It is just a smart movie. There is a moment about a quarter of the way in to the film that is so unexpected and funny that it is now one of my favorite scenes in a movie. There is cursing and bloody scenes so please be aware that while this is a different twist on a traditional scary movie, it still has those elements. Usually horror flicks are cut and dry with horrible scripts but this has many surprising turns. The dialogue is excellent. Some of the moments are ridiculous. Some are gory. Some are scary. But I admit that I enjoyed the whole thing.

My daughter and I both gave this movie a ten out of ten. It reminded me of the eighties movies that I adored. I also love a dark comedy. I enjoyed both “Zombieland” and “Hot Fuzz” in years prior. Although neither one made me smile enough to write a post about them, like this film did.

Have you seen this movie yet? Had you heard of this movie before? Because I do not typically indulge in the horror genre, I had not even known of this movie’s existence prior to last week. Take the advice of a girl who once played saw a doctor on t.v.: Watch it!

It’s The Little Things: Worldbuilders

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Worldbuilders is one of my favorite charities.

And. Okay. It’s not so little. But I did not know where else to put this post. Time is a tickin’. I also I realize as I type this that this post is weirdly going to be situated between a consumer post and a recipe post that is going up tomorrow. It couldn’t be helped, because I really want to spread the word…

For the approximate price of two mocha frappuccinos and none of the calories, a donation could be made to an awesome charity with a simultaneous entry into a drawing for some amazing prizes.

What?! That’s crazy talk. But it is true…

I love me a bearded man. My husband has a beard and there are so many pluses to this that I cannot go into here. But I love a beard.

And Patrick Rothfuss has a big ol’ beard.

Wasn’t this post supposed to be about charity?

Let’s reel this in.

I have posted about meeting Patrick Rothfuss, my favorite author, previously here and more recently (and more embarrassingly) here. He even came to a book signing near us two weeks ago, but I did not attend because I cannot bear to face him again. I love the words he puts to paper. His powerful verses of threes. They just make me happy.

Worldbuilders is his charity. But I would support this charity even if Patrick Rothfuss had absolutely nothing to do with it. All of the money collected from their fundraiser goes directly to Heiffer International. Heiffer International is a charity that has always been close to my heart. They are the charity that gives people goats, chickens, honey bees, etc. so that they can actually earn money or get more from what is given to them. The chickens will continue to lay eggs. The goat can produce milk. And the honey bees, well, you get it. It helps make generations of people’s lives better. One year our book club bought a goat through Heiffer International together in leu of exchanging Christmas presents with each other.

If you donate to Worldbuilders, you will not only be helping to make the world a better place, you have a chance to win some fabulous prizes. Seriously I would rather win one of the prizes (the favor ring) than win the state lottery, that is how awesome it is. There are fantasy books and games that are in the lottery for anyone to have a chance to win with a $10 donation. The fundraiser ends on December 8th. I wanted to share about this charity and fundraiser, because I think it is so cool that they have a lottery for people who donate and their mission is so pure. My husband and I donate every year to this charity. We have never won anything, but we never expect to. Just knowing that our donation is going to such a good cause is a good enough feeling for us.

Of course, this year Patrick Rothfuss is putting in three of his favor rings into the charity’s lottery. This makes my greedy little heart yearn for one of them. For every $10 donation you make, you are entered one time into the lottery. So if you make a $50 donation, you are entered five times into the prize drawing. I can hear you thinking, Okay, Jenni, I get that. But what the heck is a favor ring? Why, it is just that. You can trade the ring in for a favor from Patrick Rothfuss at any time (you can read more about it here). Last night the one favor ring he had up for auction on eBay went for $12,850 and all of the money went to charity. And all of my jealousy went towards that winning person. Ahem.

I do not know what I would do with that ring…

But I can imagine.

Time to reel it in again.

It’s the little things: making the world a better place. One chicken. One goat. One beard at a time.

Peanut Butter Nutella Cookies

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Be still my heart. Girdle my belly. Cinch in my thighs.

‘Cause I am about to share a cookie recipe that has become my new favorite.

And I cannot stop making them.

And I cannot stop eating them.

This is a humble cookie. It is simple. I find I like cookies with those two descriptions the best.

Most cookies are best the very first day you make them. These cookies stay soft and yummy for at least two and a half days (this is the longest length of time they have ever lasted in our house).

When I was eight, my grandmother gifted me a cookbook called, “For Good Measure: A Cookbook For Children” (I highly recommend this cookbook for children. Heck, I still use it myself). In it, was a peanut butter cookie recipe. I have never made or had a peanut butter cookie as good as the peanut butter cookies made from that recipe. I have been making those peanut butter cookies for twenty eight years. Sometimes I change it around by adding new ingredients. This recipe is adapted from that one. Because that recipe is so simple, this makes these cookies a cinch to put together.

Here is a little poem my thighs threw together for you, in honor of these cookies:

The faster to make.
The easier to bake.
My mouth will wake.
And my thighs shall quake.
For goodness sake.
This poem shall take.
The cake.

For being the worst…

The cookies take first.

On to the recipe!:

Ingredients:

1/4 cup smooth peanut butter
1/4 cup of Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)
2 Tbsp. Milk
1 stick of softened salted butter (8 Tbsp.)
1 egg
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
Caviar from 1 vanilla bean (if you do not have this, you can increase your total vanilla extract to 1 1/2 tsp.)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup organic brown sugar (it makes a difference)
1 3/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda

This recipe makes twenty four cookies.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. If you have a convection oven, preheat oven to 325 convect bake.

Pour the 1/2 cup granulated sugar in a separate bowl and set aside while you work on the following.

In a bowl with a hand mixer or in your bowl on your stand mixer, beat butter and brown sugar until light. Stop mixer and add in your vanilla and vanilla bean caviar. Mix.

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Now add peanut butter and Nutella and mix together until completely incorporated.

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Add the milk and egg and mix until light and fluffy.

Turn mixer to low and add in salt and baking soda. Mix until incorporated.

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Add flour and mix.

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Turn off mixer. Now take a small ball of cookie dough and roll it on your hands. Drop the ball into the bowl of granulated sugar and gently roll it around.

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Place the ball of dough on a baking sheet. Repeat this step until your baking sheet is filled with cookie dough balls evenly spaced apart.

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With a fork, make two flat indentations onto each cookie.

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With a spoon, scoop up some of the granulated sugar and pour a little sugar over marks left from the fork.

Place baking sheet into the oven and bake for 10-11 minutes until edges are just a little brown. Do not cook longer. You do not want these overcooked.

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Transfer baked cookies to a cooling rack.

Repeat with remaining dough. Turn oven off. Enjoy!

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I think these cookies are better completely cooled down. There is just somethin’ that happens to the Nutella and peanut butter when they blend together at that time.

Now I’m off to make these guys.
My thighs…
They sighs.

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P.S. I shared this on Savvy Southern Style.

And My Romantic Home.