It’s Da Jam – Bacon Jam To Be Precise

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I know.

I know.

Oh. I know.

Have you ever had bacon jam? I had had it two times in the last ten years before I decided to make my own. I just kept waiting for a restaurant near me to have it on the menu or wait to stumble upon it in a store. But it never happened. And my soul was sad from the wanting of it. It tastes like a sweet and smoky intense bacon spread. It is slap-your-own face-as-you-drool good.

So, the other day I decided to just google a recipe. It turns out that bacon jam is a snap to make. If you can manage to not eat all of the bacon before putting it into your crock pot. I do believe that is why this recipe calls for one and a half pounds of bacon. We all know bacon comes in one pound packages. So, you will need to buy two packages. Little Miss Martha Stewart (from whom this recipe is from, I just changed a few ingredients and altered a few steps) must have not been able to resist that other half a pound of bacon, either. And who can blame her?

The best part about this recipe, besides the heavenly taste, is that it is made in the crockpot. Can I hear a hallelujah? Or is your throat still sore from the delightful screams of the very idea of bacon jam? I hear ya. It is pretty darn wonderful.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 pounds of bacon
1 diced onion
1 minced clove of garlic (or 1 of those frozen packets)
2 Tbsp. of red pepper spread (Trader Joe’s carries one and most grocery stores carry a version)
1 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/2 cup organic brown sugar
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
3/4 cup brewed coffee
1 Tbsp. Brandy
1/4 cup good maple syrup

Directions:

This recipe is going to take about six hours to make. It is definitely not hard. Basically, you just need to be able to stir it every so often in the crockpot. But plan to be home during the time of its creation. You cannot leave it and go.

Line a baking sheet with foil and line the foil with one layer of bacon closely touching each other but not overlapping. Place in a cold oven. Turn oven to 375 degrees F. Bake the bacon for 20-23 minutes. You want it crunchy but not burnt. Once the bacon is done, remove to a paper towel-lined towel. Repeat until all of the bacon is cooked.

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In a small skillet add three tablespoons of the bacon grease. Turn stovetop burner to medium heat. Add diced onion. Sauté for seven minutes. Add garlic. Cook an additional minute. Drain bacon fat from cooked onions and garlic. Add onions and garlic to the crockpot.

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Add coffee, brown sugar, vinegar, maple syrup, brandy, and red pepper spread to the crockpot. Crumble bacon pieces into the crockpot. Add red pepper flakes. Stir.

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Cover crockpot and cook mixture for two hours on high (stirring every thirty to forty five minutes).

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Uncover and cook an additional two and a half hours uncovered (stirring every thirty minutes) until thick.

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Turn off the crockpot. Skim any fat off of the top of the bacon jam. I just take a spoon and quickly go over it. At this point you can add the jam to your food processor to blend it or just use a handy dandy immersion blender like me. I just pulse it directly in the crockpot with my immersion blender for about a minute. Stir. If there is more grease on top, skim it off. Let jam cool. And now put it in an air tight container.

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It fits perfectly in a 16 oz. container or you can put it in cute little glass jars. I reuse my pimento jars, starbucks frappucino jugs, and sundried tomato jars for such purposes. I like to quickly make a label with old scrap paper and mark it with a sharpie when I start the jam with the date on it so I know when I need to use it by. These would make great little gifts. Put the jar of jam in the refrigerator until ready to use. I use mine within two weeks stored in the refrigerator (although Martha Stewart suggests it might keep for four weeks, I worry about food safety).

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This is amazing on crostini, turkey sandwiches (my favorite thing in the world, recipe below), hamburgers, as a pizza sauce, with brie on crackers, on steaks, eggs, biscuits, fingers… You name it. It is delicious on it. I just reheat a little of it in the microwave for twenty to thirty seconds when I am ready to use it.

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For the turkey sandwich that I love, I heat up the amount of bacon jam I want for fifteen to thirty seconds depending upon how many sandwiches I am making. I layer bacon jam on both sides of a Chibatta roll I have cut in half. Layer a good amount of good quality turkey on the bottom part of the roll (I use shaved honey turkey from the deli). Place a scattering of sundried tomatoes that were in oil on the turkey. Lay one slice of havarti cheese on top. Close up that baby and enjoy! If your throat is still raw from the screams, bacon jam will soothe it. It is kind of miraculous stuff. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Hallelujah!

More Sweet Margarita

recipe is for one drink

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Ingredients:

1/3 cup silver tequila
1 tablespoon triple sec
1/4 cup lime juice (about three limes per drink)
1/4 cup + 1 Tbsp. simple syrup

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Schlooppo. i made a margar-ita. Note to self. Do not type an alcohol lic recipe after consuming the alcoholic drink. Makes snese right?

You would think so.

But sense has never been my middle name.

I was making my chicken tacos (do you know that if you misspell tacos with a “c” for the “a” as tchos, autocorrect will not guess tacos? Nope. It suggests you must be thinking of “tc how.” Which makes as much sense as tchos. I decided to look up acronyms for “tc.” Spoiler: there are a lot of them. My favorite is “take care.” Which really makes total sense. Maybe autocorrect was looking out for me. But then I scrolled further down the list to “Tom Cruise” and then “top cat” and I realized autocorrect was just drunk on margaritas… too). Anyhoo, I decided what would make the meal perfect. Just perfect. Would be a margarita. So, I made two based on this recipe from The Food Network. But it was much too much too tart for the likes of me. If you like your margaritas more authentically tart, I definitely recommend using the original recipe in the link.

I changed it up just a bit and from now on, this is the only way I shall make my margaritas.

Or type a recipe.

Autocorrect never had it so good.

Directions:

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Make your simple syrup. In a small saucepan boil one cup of water and one cup of sugar until sugar dissolves. Whisk occasionally to make sure sugar does not stick to bottom of pan. Set aside. This would be better made in advance and chilled in the refrigerator. It keeps for one month in the refrigerator.

Squeeze limes into a clear 2 cup measuring glass until you have the appropriate measurements for the amount of drinks you are making.

Fill a glass with ice.

You may brush the rim with simple syrup and stick it in sea salt or sugar if you like that sort of thing. I do not. Too Coarse.

Pour your tequila, triple sec, lime juice and simple syrup into the glass. Mix.

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Drink.

Try to type a coherent recipe.

I dare you…

Take Cover.

‘Cause

You’re Too Cool

To Calculate

The Charges.

Now Toast… and Cheers.

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“To Crazy.”

A Happy List

I found this note yesterday. It was tucked inside of a publicly shared magazine. I hope nobody wants it back. It was just sitting there, its yellow skin flashing me a mischievous grin as it poked out of a page.

I couldn’t help myself.

I took it.

I don’t know if this makes me a thief or an official hoarder.

Probably both.

I believe it was written by a bored child waiting for a parent to finish an appointment. I also imagine it was written around Christmas time. It is a list. A list of presents for children. For boys and for “grils.” It was as if the child decided to ponder for one day what it must be like to be Santa Claus.

Right now my mind is full of lists. The bills I need to pay. The chores I need to do. The groceries I need to buy. The packages I have to send. The returns I need to make. The posts I need to edit. It can be overwhelming.

For all of those things… for all of those lists… this list that I found made me happy. It reminded me to breathe. All lists are not bad. Or naughty, as it were. The hope or imagination of a child is irresistible to me. An innocent handwritten list of toys made me smile. And I hope the simplicity of it makes you smile today, too. Because maybe our lists aren’t so simple. And maybe we can’t be Santa. But we can imagine what that must feel like. Or put ourselves in someone else’s shoes for one day, whether those shoes meet up with a red suit or not is up to you:

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It’s The Little Things: The Sweetest Embroidered Hooks

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Sometime in August, Anthropologie sent me a 20% off code to use in their store for completing a survey they sent me. I spotted these embroidered hooks and I knew they would be perfect towel holders in my Otomi inspired bathroom. I like to mix quirky embroidered pieces with the animal patterned walls.

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I purchased three out of the four. They arrived and were smaller than I had anticipated. But I loved them so much. Here is a quarter next to them so you can get a good idea of the size.

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We had to buy the screws for them. They did not come with any.

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I think they really complete the bathroom. They make me ridiculously happy.

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They might, perhaps, be my most favorite things I have ever purchased from Anthropologie. And that is saying a lot. They are vintage looking. Outlandish. Fun. And completely go with our house.

I think I would have to fight Phoebe from Friends for them.

I would win.

And Monica would have to clean up the mess.

Then Joey would come up to me and say, “How you doin’?” And I would forget all about my perfect hooks. Which is just what Rachael was hoping for.

Could that be any more accurate?

Ahem.

It’s the little things: finding the perfect small little thing to complete a room. Or just small fuzzy animal faces. They would make anyone happy.

Even Ross.

Have you added anything small to your home lately? Do you have any embroidered pieces? Please share. I would love to hear about it. Don’t worry about Phoebe trying to steal them. I’ve got your back… “I’ll be there for you.”