say

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I Will. I Do. I Do. I Will.

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I don’t know why, but I am addicted to those bridal shows on t.v. I don’t care what show it is. “Say yes to the dress” in any city, “Four Weddings,” and even sometimes, “Something Borrowed, Something New” (although I hate this show with a fierce passion. Fierce. Passion).

If it is on, my brain becomes fixated on the white flowy gowns.

Here is something funny I heard a mom say to her daughter on one of those shows when there were not enough sequins on her dress: “It needs more embezzlements.”

Yes, it does.

I bet a dress like that would take go for a lot of money.

My husband and I got married in a whirlwind of quick planning in Las Vegas. We loved every second of our wedding. First, that my mom planned it. We would never have done it otherwise. The cake was delicious (the most important part). It was quick. It was easy. I loved my dress. It was supposed to have a bow removed, because the original wedding was planned and all ready had a deposit at a different venue for July. Plenty of time to order a bowless dress.

Well, a little something unplanned happened. And my dress was not going to fit when July came. So, we quickly planned a wedding for March.

My dress arrived. With the bow. This is where the good part happens. I had gained a little weight (see unplanned occurrence above) and the zipper broke an hour before the ceremony. But the bow hid it! Providence.

I would only change one thing about my wedding. Okay two. My dad got so nervous about walking me down the aisle that we practically ran. Seriously, he still laughs about it.

Second, what my husband said during our vows. Growing up, every little girl dreams of the “I dos.” Some of them may even practice saying them in preparation for the day those two words actually get to come out of their mouths (definitely not dressed in white and definitely not involving a dog if any kind).

Here is a bit of trivia I was not privy to until my wedding day. Little boys. Well, little boys don’t think of that moment at all. I am pretty sure that until their actual wedding day, those two words never even enter their minds.

Sometimes they never do enter their minds.

Even on their wedding day.

I wish I had known that.

It was finally my our moment.

I listened to the officiant rattle off the long list of things my husband was to agree to. And then we waited for his answer.

“I will.”

I did a double take. Wait. Wha?! What happened to “I do”? This was not what was supposed to happen! My OCD flared up. Now, my answer would not match his! The officiant turned to me and began to recite the terms I was to agree to. I didn’t hear any of it. All I could think of is, what the heck am I going to say?!

Silence.

I realized it was my turn to answer. My moment.

So, I pulled a Jenni. I just repeated both things. And I added an extra one in to make up for my husband’s edited version of the words. It had to be even. You know, OCD and all of that.

This is what I said, ” I do. I will. I do.”

I think my husband realized at that moment what had happened. He had married a crazy lady. The rest of the ceremony was a blur.

A beautiful blur.

But now whenever I watch any wedding show on t.v., I wait for those two words to be spoken. Inevitably, about a third of the time, “I will,” is said.

I looked it up and the consensus is divided on which saying is correct. I guess it just depends on what sounds best to you. What your venue might prefer. What you and your dog practiced when you were little.

This just shows you that you really cannot know what is going to happen in life. Planning has never been my forte. I never thought I would be married in Las Vegas. Or that my wedding would be moved up by many months. I couldn’t predict that my husband would not choose to say the words I had rehearsed in my head for decades. But do I cherish the impulsive memories? Will I look back in fondness at the unexpected surprises?

I will.

Do you remember which words were spoken at your wedding ceremony or the last one you attended?

I do.

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P.S. Yesterday was my fifteenth wedding anniversary. I wrote this in honor of it. We are at this very moment in Las Vegas celebrating where it all began. I have posts scheduled every day while we are away. If I do not get to your comments today, please know I will respond A.S.A.P.! But it might not be today. : )

Thank you! : )

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Dear Mommy: What Does The Mommy Say?

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Dear Mommy,

What does the fox say?

Your child

Dear Child,

We have been through this. Why is this a question? Or a song?

Love,

Mommy

Dear Mommy,

I cannot wait to leave this house! I am going to live on top ramen. I am going to eat it every night. I can’t wait!

Your child

Dear child,

Why didn’t you tell me before? That sounds fantastic. I cannot wait to come over. Next, you will be telling me you are going to be all fancy and eat off of paper plates and use plastic forks. What would I wear to such a fine establishment? I think we should try this immediately. I will start making you a separate batch of top ramen all to yourself. We will eat our home cooked meal that took me two hours to make. You will get your five minute meal instead.

I am nothing if not a dream maker.

I look forward to serving you. Maybe I will even lay out some of that fancy cutlery you like. I think I have some from the drive-thru laying around.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Mommy,

I can’t find my other shoe!

Your child

Dear Child,

It is 8:40. We and your two-feet-in-shoes were supposed to leave the house five minutes ago. I am so very thrilled to run around and look under every piece of furniture we own for your other shoe. Why, I aim to please.

Speaking of which, I bought you three pairs of shoes two months ago. Surely we have a set to one of those. No? Well, could you wear a mismatched pair? No? What’s that? We only have the right ones? Okay. Mommy is just going to lay here awhile. Maybe whatever took your left shoes will come back. For me.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Mommy,

I love you.

Your Child

Dear Child,

Awww. Okay. Okay. You can have top ramen AND the “real” dinner I made.

And I found all of your left shoes in the dog food bag, along with my favorite necklace. Which you can, of course, borrow tomorrow.

And for the record, the fox says, “I love you, too.”

Love,

Mommy

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* This post was a little extra one I just wrote for The Daily Post’s Weekly Writing Challenge.

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“What does the fox say?”

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My ten year old son came home from a three day overnight camp. He cuddled up to me and insisted I watch a You Tube video concerning some sort of fox and dancing. He called it “super funny.”

My daughter had come home the day before and told me that this fox video has replaced Gangnam style.

When I asked her if this was a good thing…

I was greeted with a snort. A laugh. And a single sentence, “it’s awesome.”

Being that I had not seen my son in three days and this was his one request. And also feeling like maybe I should be “up” on what my children are watching on You Tube, I obliged him. Especially after last week, when my husband and two kids came home laughing after going to the video game store together. Apparently there had been a clueless mother there attempting to buy her seven year old child “Grand Theft Auto.” The cashier had to talk her out of it. I did not want to be “that” mom.

This is the video that is all the rage right now. “What does the fox say?”.

So I watched it. Um. Yes. That is all I have to say about it.

“Um.”

I really am getting old. I will agree it is quite catchy. I know this because the song has been in my head for three days.

My son just read what I wrote in that paragraph and this was his response:

“Mom. I don’t think you’re getting old. When I first saw it, I thought it was weird, too. But then I agreed that the music is good. Everything else is just…weird. I then looked up what a fox does say, because I was curious. It makes kind of a bark, but shorter. Well, actually, it makes over forty different sounds. I only know five of them. In the fall, it makes a mating call.”

He paused here.

“I don’t know what that sounds like,” he pondered.

Hmmmm. I don’t either.

However, I will conclude that that was well said, son. Well said.

I don’t think a fox could have said it any better.