Searching For…

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Most of the folks who stumble upon my blog by way of searching Google usually do so by looking for a certain dress or top. Typically they want information on a brand or article of clothing. Sometimes I will see someone looking at my blog through a search question and I want to scream the answer to them, because I know they will not find it on the post they are viewing. Like yesterday when someone searched, “Can I wear Johnny Was over 55?” YES! Of course! Please do so! You will look fabulous. It is like that dream where you cannot speak. In the meantime, they silently move along. Still searching for the answer. Never knowing that I am miming it to them through the internet. Isn’t that how it works?

But other search terms, well, I really am not at all sure how or why the search engine sent their quest to my blog. But I do get a chuckle from it. I have all ready mentioned in this post a weird search engine term that frequently sends folks to this blog. But I thought it would be fun to share a few others. The Bloggess shares hers every so often and before that, Pioneer Woman shared hers. And before Pioneer Woman… Well, who remembers? Anyway, those search engine posts on different blogs are always some of my favorites. I wrote some of my search terms down exactly as they were searched, typos and all. The italics are my thoughts on them:

I have a lover my husband is to small
(are we talking gnome size or imp? I draw the line at gnomes. I would hate to have to fetch him from the junk drawer)

How do i show my mil i love and appreciate about her

Why is my maah lumpy and sloppy?
(So many questions. Not enough towels)

Son smelling mom dress
(is it because maah is lumpy and sloppy?)

Dream of getting three hamburgers

No wonder everyone always wants to go to grandma’s house
(no wonder, indeed. She must feed you three hamburgers)

Big toe lover .com
(I have no words, and apparently not big enough toes)

I am comin gnome accross spiders too much, what does this indicate?

Think my diy finds me too needy
(I believe you. Are you hammering into him? Drilling him about his whereabouts? You should paint him a different picture)

How to deflect a curse
(I am still working on that. Did you talk to that telemarketer, too?)

You met a fairy in your dreams and gave a gift
(was it three hamburgers?)

Dream dictionary tattoo on forehead
(that would be an odd looking tattoo)

Lovely name on vest for lovers

Yogurt in dream, dreamology
(I have met your unhealthier soulmate somewhere on this blog)

Trader joes croissants didn’t proof
(next you’re going to say they didn’t rhombus either)

Contain of fair & lovely pig
(I would love to be offended that this search brought you here, but the first two descriptions are nice, so I’ll take it)

What goes with roosters on a mantle
(um, what doesn’t go with roosters on a mantle? Needy DIY is that you?)

Gnome as a manicurist
(see big toe lover dot com)

Gnome Lover Height
(I’ll tell ya, but not if you are looking for a lover because your husband is to small: 5’6″)

If you have a blog have you checked it recently for funny search terms? I find the best time to do so is right before midnight. The best search terms seem to be at night, when people are dreaming about hamburgers… And sloppy maahs. Hopefully not together.

8 thoughts on “Searching For…

  1. Hahaha!! This is too funny. Big toe lover?! I don’t even know how to check mine, and maybe that’s for the best… The dream dictionary one was my favourite. Some of these would make awesome T-shirt slogans, actually!

    (PS Hello from Norway, where it just snowed!)

  2. Pingback: Searching For... II - Gnome Lover

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