Pistachio Pudding Pie

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This green pie is perfect for Saint Patrick’s Day. Or any other day without a saint in it. And you just want to have a creamy green pie.

As you are wont to do.

But here is where I lose you. I don’t really like nuts. I will eat peanuts. Plain. Salted. By themselves. But I do not want or like them in any of my food. I do not like the unexpected crunch and/or texture. Well, besides a Snickers bar. But Snickers is a perfection above all mundane rules.

If you are a child, like myself, keep reading for a sweet dessert using easy ingredients…

I love pistachio ice cream. And gelato. Or at least I thought I did, except my heart would sob whenever I tried a new brand of pistachio ice cream. I would lift the lid. And see… Beige?! No. No. No. I want the artificial green stuff, please. You can keep your organic, all na-tur-aaaal. Give me dye. Give me sugar.

Give me fake.

I discovered Jello’s Pistachio Instant Pudding the other day ( um, Wha..?!). Upon immediately dumping four boxes into my cart, I stood in the aisle-of-all-that-makes-life-worth-living, contemplating how many more I needed to hoard for my new collection. What if they stop making this? I just discovered it. What if because I hadn’t been purchasing it, they think nobody wants it? How could I go on? But my husband interrupted my panic by asking, “Don’t you think that’s enough?”

“Oh. For tonight? Yea, that should be plenty.” I rushed home and read the back of the package.

“Pistachio Pudding Pie.”

Let me repeat.

“Pistachio Pudding Pie.”

The most perfect three words I had ever read.

I read the list of ingredients as quickly as I could. And, miracle of miracles, I had them all.

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Ingredients:

3.4 oz. package Jello Pistachio Instant Pudding
premade graham cracker crust
1 and 3/4 cup whole milk
8 oz. tub of cool whip (or similar nondairy whipped cream)

First, I strained all of the disgusting bits from the pudding. AKA nuts.

I did this three times, because I wanted my pudding as smooth as possible.

I made the pudding according to the directions on the package. Essentially it is as easy as beating the milk and pudding mix for two minutes.

I slopped it into a pre-made graham cracker pie shell.

I put it in the refrigerator and patiently waited three hours for it to set.

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Huh? What? Who are we kidding? Remember, we have all ready tested my patience for food before during my chocolate pie experience. It allows for thirteen minutes. At thirteen minutes I frantically grabbed a spoon from the drawer. And I skimmed the side of the pie with it. And my thighs wept. No, wait, that sounds gross. And my soul sang. And my thighs secretly rippled with excitement. Or they just rippled, ’cause that is their way…maybe pie is an excellent not such a good idea afterall.

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Then I topped it with cool whip, covered it and reluctantly placed it back into the refrigerator.

I made this again a few weeks ago and doubled the amount of pistaccio pudding. I could do this, because I finally had hoarded enough pudding to the point I felt safe using some. I did this slowly over time, when my husband wasn’t with me and have packed the boxes into our pantry hidden from any pantry raiders that might come (or my husband who might commit me). In fact, I am rich in the stuff. So, I was all, two packages? Make it rain. Only instead of making it rain green paper, I let green powder rain into a bowl. I am frivolous like that. But I really liked the doubled recipe. If you are feeling super fancy when you make this, I would double the pudding packages. If you do this, you need to increase your milk to 2 and 3/4 cups. And follow the recipe above.

Have you made this? Do you like artificial green pistachio products or the real pistachio products? There’s no judgement here. I’m just sayin’ if you want some boxes, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a girl who can get you some. I heard that some crazy lady is buying them all, so they might be running out.

But that’s just a rumor.

I’m sure.

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P.S. I shared this on Savvy Southern Style.

And My Romantic Home.

11 thoughts on “Pistachio Pudding Pie

  1. Oh Jenni you crack me UP!! I have made this neon green pudding pie. My hubs loves pistachio as do I. Plus my mom was/is queen of pudding pies while I was growing up. I’ve had every iteration of pudding pie imaginable!! (Chocolate sour cream is a favorite of mine). Your food stashing because of the terror it may be discontinued I can relate to wholeheartedly! Haaa!

    • Thank you Lyn! Do you know this is the very first pudding pie I have ever had? I do not know where it has been all of my life. Chocolate sour cream sounds intriguing! I am glad you understand my pantry situation. I just went in there today to check on them. ; )

      Thank you so much for commenting! Have a lovely Wednesday!

      Jenni

  2. I ate this stuff for dinner when I was in college. I had quite a few in my cupboard too, in case I wanted to do it again the next night. I was super thin then–I could get away with such a healthy, heavenly meal. This is a reminder of how fun food can be!

    • Thanks Diane! Okay, I adore that you ate it for dinner! So awesome! I must admit to only getting to eat one slice of this “healthy” stuff. Oh to be young again. I would have eaten a whole pie back then, too! And not have gained a pound!

      Thank you for sharing! : ). I appreciate it! Have a great week!

      Jenni

  3. Now I have a craving for this pie! I thought this Jello Pistachio pudding had been around since the 70’s. Did you mean you had never seen the instant one?
    I’m with you on nuts. I do love pecan pie and nuts in brownies and cookies. However, when it comes to ice cream or pudding, I want it to be smooth. I never thought about straining the nuts from the pudding mix. Maybe I could dump all the strained nuts on one side of the pie for my husband. And I love my mint and pistachio puddings and ice creams to be green also.
    By the way, I received my Girl Scout cookies and the Thin Mints were in the foil and good news, they are very minty!
    Thanks for sharing,
    Stacey

    • I think they have been around since then! And I have never had it until now. To be fair, I had never purchased instant pudding before either. We just did not grow up with the stuff. My mother is very healthy. We did not have Koolaid either. And so my kids don’t really know the joys of it either. They don’t like the flavor of the pistachio. And I have not purchased another flavor! : )

      I think that straining the nuts and putting them on one side of the pie is a fabulous idea! You will be surprised at how many pieces there actually are in the little package.

      I am so glad you got your foil cookies! And that they were minty and good! I am craving mint right now (I just made homemade mint chip ice cream tonight). Maybe I will make a girl scout ice cream!!! Ooohhh! Can’t wait! : )

      Have a terrific week! Thank you for commenting!

      Jenni

  4. If you wake up in the middle of the night and see a a masked woman and her cat tip toeing down your hallway in the direction of your kitchen – don’t worry too much – it’s probably just us Pantry Raiders – me-n-Marcy. I bet if you threw us a piece of that green pie and some Friskies we’d be on our way so no need to call the police.
    I love pistachios! Green or not! Yum!

    • Ha! I will keep my eyes peeled! I have to warn you, I am an insomniac. So, you will have to come pretty late to sneak into my pantry. Of course, it is kept closed after seven o’clock. So, you might get away with it. : ). No Friskies here! But Marcy would probably love the food Murphy gets, which is pretty much a refrigerated log of meat. I can’t feed it to him. The smell and whole log thing makes me gag! But Marcy would probably love it! : )

      This pie is so fast to make. I wish i had some now. But I am on iced water for the rest of the night. : (

      Have a wonderful Wednesday!

      Jenni

      • I love it. Tell her to please come over and she can have some if she feeds the dogs tonight. It is my responsibility tonight. Gag! : (

        Have a relaxing evening!

        Jenni

  5. Pingback: Happy St. Patrick's Day! | Gnome Lover

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