It’s Da Jam – Bacon Jam To Be Precise

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I know.

I know.

Oh. I know.

Have you ever had bacon jam? I had had it two times in the last ten years before I decided to make my own. I just kept waiting for a restaurant near me to have it on the menu or wait to stumble upon it in a store. But it never happened. And my soul was sad from the wanting of it. It tastes like a sweet and smoky intense bacon spread. It is slap-your-own face-as-you-drool good.

So, the other day I decided to just google a recipe. It turns out that bacon jam is a snap to make. If you can manage to not eat all of the bacon before putting it into your crock pot. I do believe that is why this recipe calls for one and a half pounds of bacon. We all know bacon comes in one pound packages. So, you will need to buy two packages. Little Miss Martha Stewart (from whom this recipe is from, I just changed a few ingredients and altered a few steps) must have not been able to resist that other half a pound of bacon, either. And who can blame her?

The best part about this recipe, besides the heavenly taste, is that it is made in the crockpot. Can I hear a hallelujah? Or is your throat still sore from the delightful screams of the very idea of bacon jam? I hear ya. It is pretty darn wonderful.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 pounds of bacon
1 diced onion
1 minced clove of garlic (or 1 of those frozen packets)
2 Tbsp. of red pepper spread (Trader Joe’s carries one and most grocery stores carry a version)
1 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/2 cup organic brown sugar
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
3/4 cup brewed coffee
1 Tbsp. Brandy
1/4 cup good maple syrup

Directions:

This recipe is going to take about six hours to make. It is definitely not hard. Basically, you just need to be able to stir it every so often in the crockpot. But plan to be home during the time of its creation. You cannot leave it and go.

Line a baking sheet with foil and line the foil with one layer of bacon closely touching each other but not overlapping. Place in a cold oven. Turn oven to 375 degrees F. Bake the bacon for 20-23 minutes. You want it crunchy but not burnt. Once the bacon is done, remove to a paper towel-lined towel. Repeat until all of the bacon is cooked.

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In a small skillet add three tablespoons of the bacon grease. Turn stovetop burner to medium heat. Add diced onion. Sauté for seven minutes. Add garlic. Cook an additional minute. Drain bacon fat from cooked onions and garlic. Add onions and garlic to the crockpot.

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Add coffee, brown sugar, vinegar, maple syrup, brandy, and red pepper spread to the crockpot. Crumble bacon pieces into the crockpot. Add red pepper flakes. Stir.

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Cover crockpot and cook mixture for two hours on high (stirring every thirty to forty five minutes).

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Uncover and cook an additional two and a half hours uncovered (stirring every thirty minutes) until thick.

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Turn off the crockpot. Skim any fat off of the top of the bacon jam. I just take a spoon and quickly go over it. At this point you can add the jam to your food processor to blend it or just use a handy dandy immersion blender like me. I just pulse it directly in the crockpot with my immersion blender for about a minute. Stir. If there is more grease on top, skim it off. Let jam cool. And now put it in an air tight container.

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It fits perfectly in a 16 oz. container or you can put it in cute little glass jars. I reuse my pimento jars, starbucks frappucino jugs, and sundried tomato jars for such purposes. I like to quickly make a label with old scrap paper and mark it with a sharpie when I start the jam with the date on it so I know when I need to use it by. These would make great little gifts. Put the jar of jam in the refrigerator until ready to use. I use mine within two weeks stored in the refrigerator (although Martha Stewart suggests it might keep for four weeks, I worry about food safety).

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This is amazing on crostini, turkey sandwiches (my favorite thing in the world, recipe below), hamburgers, as a pizza sauce, with brie on crackers, on steaks, eggs, biscuits, fingers… You name it. It is delicious on it. I just reheat a little of it in the microwave for twenty to thirty seconds when I am ready to use it.

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For the turkey sandwich that I love, I heat up the amount of bacon jam I want for fifteen to thirty seconds depending upon how many sandwiches I am making. I layer bacon jam on both sides of a Chibatta roll I have cut in half. Layer a good amount of good quality turkey on the bottom part of the roll (I use shaved honey turkey from the deli). Place a scattering of sundried tomatoes that were in oil on the turkey. Lay one slice of havarti cheese on top. Close up that baby and enjoy! If your throat is still raw from the screams, bacon jam will soothe it. It is kind of miraculous stuff. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Hallelujah!

Past Cards: This Is Your Little Girl

Every month, I pick one of my vintage post cards from my collection to share with you. It isn’t easy. I have a lot of them. And, I try only to buy the ones that make me laugh inside. If you missed last month’s you can find it here.

For this month, I picked a short but sweet one. It is dated Feb. 13, 1912:

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The front of the Post Card reads:

“Be The Day Rainy
Or Be The Day Fine
The Sunshine Comes With You
My Sweet Valentine”

It appears to be hand written. And, honestly, the picture appears to be hand painted. But it is raised and embellished, so I am unsure on that note.

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The back of the postcard reads:

Dear Edward this is your little girl. Isn’t she sweet.

Elizabeth

And, I know. I know I have a sick sense of humor that I find this card so funny that it brings tears to my eyes. But I just imagine Edward getting this post card and him looking at the illustration of the little girl and it just seems crazy to think he that thought that was his little girl.

And it was mailed from the same town to the same town. So, he was not someone overseas who had not seen his “little girl.”

I have to wonder what this card meant. And all of my theories point to poor Elizabeth being a bit addled in the head.

Also, this was a Valentine’s Card. Isn’t that an odd message to send on a Valentine’s card?

Over one hundred years ago, Master Edward received a Valentine’s Card with a cartoon drawing of a little girl on the front from Elizabeth.

And I have to answer Elizabeth’s question of, “Isn’t she sweet?” with a few of my own.

Elizabeth, what were your and Edward’s real names? I suspect based on the picture of your little girl that perhaps your initials really were O.O.

And, Popeye Edward, would you care for some spinach?

Reading: “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”

Have you heard of “The Bloggess”? Honestly, I had been writing my blog for a year before I did. And it wasn’t until my favorite author, Patrick Rothfuss, mentioned reading her book (you can read his review about it here) that I took notice and actually clicked over to her site. Who is this other blogger capturing my crush’s attention? I will admit to a rush of jealousy.

So I clicked over to her blog to read. And I immediately saw why she has earned the accolades that she has. Jenny is hilarious. She tells the funniest stories. I feel like we would be best friends if we were ever to meet. As does everyone who reads her blog and her book. She is very personable.

Seriously, who writes, “Watermelon is the secret code word” in place of their name on those awful name tag stickers?

Jenny Lawson does.

And don’t you just love that? If that was all you knew about this woman, (and if you had not heard of her before this post, that would be it) you would want to meet her based just on that.

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She does curse a lot. So, if you click on a link I have provided here, please be prepared. My blog does not have curse words, because I want it to be able to be read by all ages, but it works for her and all of her stories. I just wanted to put that warning here in case you have an aversion to profanity, so we can delve into the good stuff without any more disclaimers.

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Her book is called, “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”. You guys, I laughed so hard I cried and then I snorted and cried again. It is a collection of short stories from her life. She is working on her next novel right now.

Jenny grew up with a taxidermist father. The stories she tells about all of the crazy situations this led to, well, it cannot be described. You just gotta read it.

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There is a story in the book that was probably the best short story I have ever read. It is about a squirrel. I read it while I hyperventilated in hysterics. Then I called my son into the room and I read it to him (I edited out the profanity). He also thought it was the funniest story.

My sister purchased the book after I recommended it to her and called me later so we could laugh about it together. And my friend told me she was mailed this book from a friend who said it was a book that had made her happy. My friend thinks we should pick this book for book club one day. I agree.

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As a blogger I enjoy reading other blogs. Stephen King once said, “If you don’t have time to read. You don’t have time to write.” I completely agree with that synopsis. He meant it in terms of books, but I take it in terms of blogs, too.

The Bloggess became famous after she published a post in which she purchased a five foot tall rooster. And presented it to her husband. As an anniversary present. But that was not the best part. The best part was the note attached to the rooster. I still laugh when I read it.

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The book has some of the short stories from her blog, but also a lot of new material, too. I definitely think it is a worthwhile purchase.

Blogger or not, if you enjoy funny short stories (with a bit of the absurd and a high dose of crass), I recommend this book.

Have you read “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”? What did you think?

*If you have read this book and liked it, I recommend Laurie Notaro’s
books to you. She writes short stories in the same vein of humor. I really enjoy them. Update 6/7/2014: I am bringing the book, “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)” by Mindy Kaling, with me to Maui. It received good reviews so I want to try it. And if you want to read a funny short story right now, The Bloggess posted a link this week to a story that made me gasp with laughter: The Scary Ham.

This post contains affiliate links. Purchasing a book through the link will provide a small commission for my own scary ham this blog.

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Antique Shopping With My Mom

My mom wanted to have a girl’s day a few weeks ago. I was in. Since we both love antiquing, we planned on heading down to some local antique stores and picking out a fun restaurant to eat at.

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It was a fun day, but incredibly hot. I wore my Free People Tutti Frutti Slip Skirt that I got for a steal at Nordstrom Rack (similar skirt here) with a white t-shirt, bow belt from Anthropologie and On A Wing Necklace with vintage boots. It seemed like a good outfit for antiquing. Sorry for the blurry pictures. My daughter took them and the camera is big for her tiny hands.

I wanted to share all of the pretty vintage treasures there were to be had. I did not buy anything except for a few post cards to add to my collection. You can see a new feature about them that I started on this blog here.

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Vintage Maracas. The color is beautiful.

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This bracelet that reminded me of peacock feathers (Heather!).

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I can always spot a gnome.

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This guy lurking creepily in the back was tagged as an elf. The horror! But, well, he is creepy enough for the title. He was $150. Now that may seem like a lot of money. And it is. But imagine the possibilities. How scared would your spouse/partner be of this creature?

Oh. Man. What a steal!

If only I weren’t so scared of it myself…

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Here was a cute ceramic gnome candle holder. I don’t buy the kitschy ceramic stuff. I like the small felted gnomes I can hide in other objects or plant sticks or outside gnomes. But he was cute sitting on the shelf.

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If I had one more room in my house, I would have sprung for this amazing ceramic Italian chandelier. It is gorgeous. The colors were perfect. The price was fair for a chandelier. So pretty!

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I love the blue on this ceramic crock.

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And the blue on this old plunger.

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Look at the pretty turquoise jewelry!

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And there was great blue grass music being played throughout town. It was a beautiful day. We even got to see this cute little dressed up fellow.

Thank you Mom for spending it with me. I had so much fun!

Have you been antique shopping lately? Thrift store shopping? I love sifting through old things. You never know what you are going to find!

P.S. I shared this on Savvy Southern Style.

And My Romantic Home.