It’s A Jungle Out There

I cannot resist
Critters on my shirts and skirts
My shoes are jealous*

I did not even realize that most of my outfits lately have revolved around critters. Or creatures. Or things with faces on them, until I went to pull some photos for recent outfits. Wow! Lots of animals! Okay, two out of the three are owls. So, it is a small selection in the animal kingdom. Here are some I have worn lately:

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I waited patiently for this owl pullover (the Wisened Pullover from Anthropologie) to make it to sale. And it did! And I wisely grabbed it. I paired it with my JBrand Moto Skinny Jeans I bought for $20 a few weeks ago (regularly $240!). The earrings are Lucky Brand found on clearance at Macy’s.

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I bought this owl skirt on a great sale from Anthhropologie last year. I paired it with my striped shirt from H & M. I bought my Lucky Brand Boots during an amazing sale a few weeks ago at Piperlime. They have incredible padding. I wore them all day at ____________ (fill in the blank from the Haiku at the bottom) and felt like I was wearing tennis shoes!

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I love my hedgehog Creature Feature Top from Anthropologie. I wear it all of the time. This time I wore it with my brown corduroy cropped pants I purchased about six years ago from Anthropologie on sale.

Do you love animals on your clothes? What is your favorite piece?

* The haiku in the beginning is part of the weekly writing challenge. I started today and will do five Haikus by Friday. Here is one from yesterday (can you guess where we were?):

Crammed onto a bus
Screaming children all around
Just to see a mouse

* I shared this on The Pleated Poppy!

I’m Crafty Crazy

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I am not crafty. Oh, how I long to be.

But I’m not.

Please remind me of this the next time I decide to do a project. Because I always do. And I always end up reenacting Amelia Bedilia. And crying. Then laughing like a maniac. Then crying. I think I confuse “crafty” with “crazy.”

I saw this Chevron tablecloth on Anthropologie’s Website and I loved it! But at $228, I knew that even if it went on sale, it would be too expensive for me. I thought, how hard could it be to make one myself?

You probably all ready know the answer to that.

Well, first I purchased a tablecloth in a neutral linen from Target’s website. Then it came and I promptly set it on my husband’s desk for three weeks and ignored it. Until finally, I begged my husband to help me make this tablecloth. And because my husband is the closest thing to committing me to a perfect human being that I know, he agreed.

He cut me a templet from Elinee Studio. And we watched the video Her video is for a rug, but I figured it would be similar enough to my project to work. This was incredibly helpful. Honestly, if we had not watched the video or used her template, we would have had a tear-splattered fiasco at the end of this project.

I took the tablecloth out of the package. And I stared at it. It was itty bitty. My husband looked at it.

“What size did you get?” He asked.

“Um. I don’t know. Whatever size it came in.”

“You mean you didn’t look at what size the Anthropologie tablecloth was and buy the same one?”

“I didn’t even think of doing that,” I said, as air whistled through my ears.

“Well, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know! Maybe I’ll just use it on our breakfast table.”

“Is it square?” Says my my husband, who is the owner of a square breakfast table…as am I.

“Uhhhhh. No. But I could just let the sides dangle.”

Silence.

Then the sound of me tapping on the computer and ordering the correct size off of the Target website. Thankfully they had it, and because I used my Target Debit Card I got free shipping.

But now I had to wait for the correct size to come…

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It came rather quickly and we set to work.

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It took the two of us approximately three hours to tape the tablecloth.

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The next day, we decided to paint it. We mixed up our two bottles of orange fabric paint and quickly realized that it would probably not be enough.

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We added some yellow and red that I had on hand and made this color. It still did not look to be enough. I suggested that we paint every other row just in case. Thank goodness we did, because we ran out. As you do…when you suck at DIYing.

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Now, we had a soggy half painted tablecloth outside.

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I decided to sacrifice my pink paint I had on hand to fill in the other rows. I just wanted to finish it. So, that is how our tablecloth ended up looking like this. A mished mashed version of the original. I am not sure how I feel about it. I would have preferred all orange, but we worked with what we had.

While we were painting, my husband burst out laughing. I smiled and asked him what was so funny. He said he was imagining what I was going to write about this tablecloth in my blog post.

I said, “Don’t laugh. We’re creating a family heirloom.”

He responded, “This will be the first thing our son’s wife will throw away.”

We both laughed. But now that kind of breaks my heart.

We continued to paint. And I asked my husband, “So, what do you think this is going to look like?”

The eternal optimist responded as if there was no other option, “I think it’s going to look great!”

I laughed and said, “Honey, when have we ever painted a straight line? Even with painter’s tape?”

He laughed.

I think you can guess the answer to those questions, too.

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This was our finished project. It ended up costing much, much more than I thought it would. My husband is in love with it. Which is cute. I think it is okay. We will definitely use it. And I have happy memories of us making it together. You know, we should make another one! I cannot believe it actually turned out with no major mishaps.

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On second thought, maybe waiting for sale isn’t such a bad idea after all.

Look at what us DIYers did to our concrete. Yup! We are super smart professionals. Obviously, if you attempt this, and why wouldn’t you after seeing all of the fun we had, place a tarp underneath your project.

Or maybe you want a permanent reminder of the day you painted a tablecloth?

Because, obviously, we did, too. Forget the tablecloth! Let’s just make a random half painted tablecloth design on our concrete. This is genius if you ever have company you don’t like over. Just start laying dishes on the pattern on the ground. Then sit cross legged around it like you would at a table. How fun would that be?

Thankfully it came off, but I should add paint stripper to the final total. And maybe a therapy bill. Because why do we keep doing this?

Project Costs: $61.76

After tax and my discounts (ebates, using Target Debit Card) Tablecloth = $16.78
Fabric paint (7 4 oz. bottles after tax and discount) = $29.48
Paint pan, 2 rollers, 2 sizes of painter’s tape approximately $15.50 (I lost the receipt. Surprise! But I remember it being $15 something).

Have you DIYed anything lately? Are you crazy crafty? Or are you like us and just think you are sometimes?

Oh, and if you are wondering what became of the “too small” tablecloth, well, I have just the project for it… ; )

* I am playing catchup from being sick. Sorry I am behind on emails and posts. I hope to accomplish everything by Wednesday. A new post will run on Tuesday night. I will also post Wednesday. And I am doing a “live” Thanksgiving post on Thursday, updating throughout the day with things I am grateful for. After that, my regular daily schedule will commence. Thanks for bearing with me! I hope your week is great!”

My Happy Day

I was going to skip posting today, because I’m sick. But I wanted to share something unexpectedly good that happened to me this week.

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Years ago, when I was heavier, I bought the Lolland Sweater Dress from Anthropologie in a large. This is my vision of the perfect dress. Fun pattern. Short sleeves. Ruffles. I was madly in love with it. I actually got to a point where I could no longer fit into my size large dress (it was too small) and so I got it dry cleaned and stored it in my closet.

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I lost 76 pounds and I was terrified to try this dress on. I knew it was going to be too big. But how big, I was not sure. I told myself I could probably get it tailored so I would lose nothing if I just tried it on.

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I tried it on and it fit! Well, the dress fit, the slip was at least a foot longer than the dress. Then I realized what had happened. The dry cleaners shrunk my dress all of those years ago! But what a happy accident!

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I just substituted a different slip and I could not be happier. I paired it with my H & M golden tights. The pictures here are awful, because they were taken at night, but during the day, it all works.

Have you ever had an unexpected mishap work out in your favor?

The Hiking Club

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Once upon a time, a very long time ago, there was a young girl who decided to go on a hike. And she decided she would invite every girl she loved to come along. Spoiler: It was me. It was the very last time I went on a hike. It was eighteen years ago. I was eighteen. Wow! Look at those numbers. Maybe I should get out more.

I have a wonderful aunt, Auntie M. When I was a child she would take me on a hike every year. I had done it since I was little. How hard could it be?

Here are the things I did not take into consideration:

1. I never had to pack our food or water as a child. Doesn’t it just magically appear in your bag? Because that’s right… I conned talked eighteen girls into going on a six mile hike with me. And we only packed about ten water bottles. We did bring watermelon. Lots of watermelon. I have no idea why.

2. I am allergic to watermelon.

3. I planned this hike in the middle of July. In the dessert.

4. We told no one where we were going.

5. We had no cell phones. Because they did not exist. Kind of like my brain at the time.

6. We had four cars between us. We somehow crammed ourselves into two and left them at the end of the hike.

7. None of these girls were friends. They were my friends. But they were not friends with each other. Okay. Some of them were. But we had the goth girls, the stoners, a cheerleader or two, the soccer champion, the brainiacs, and me. It was like “The Breakfast Club” without breakfast or a club. Without the comforts of a bathroom or a cool janitor. If those guys in the Breakfast Club would have been dumped in the middle of nowhere without water for five hours in the heat of summer. Well, let’s just say Anthony Michael Hall wouldn’t have had an essay to write. ‘Cause they would have eaten him.

We started out on the hike cheerful and in good spirits. Half of us were leaving for college in a few weeks. It was our last hurrah.

I plan fun things.

It began to turn sour about halfway through the hike…When we realized we were out of water. It was not pretty. The goths were more quiet than usual. I knew it was just a matter of moments before they realized this was all my fault idea.

But then something miraculous happened. We came upon a stream and a little small, I do not want to call it a lake, because it was about the size of my living room, but beautiful body of water. It was shady. It was like a mirage. But it wasn’t. We stopped and we splashed. We chatted. We connected in a way that only those in the most dire of circumstances can.

Sometimes I dream about this “lake.” It can be a lovely dream or a bloody nightmare. In the dream, I build a little house here and it is a beautiful and tranquil experience. In my nightmares, the lake gets bigger and is filled with great white sharks that inevitably eat me (I think I am one of the few people who actually die in their dreams. My mind loves me like that).

We left the lake and trudged along. I barely remember us getting to the cars. We were all sweaty and dehydrated. We were all cranky and miserable. The lake had renewed our spirits for a moment, but human nature quickly took over as we crawled towards the finish line.

At the end, one girl turned to me and said, “Thanks Jenni. That was the worst experience of my life.”

I aim to please.

I never did see all of those girls together again. Over the years, we all drifted away. I did reconnect with some of them on Facebook when I had an account. But in my imagination, life had turned out differently for them. I liked my dream version better. I wanted that magical lake of life in the middle of nowhere to always be there. The weariness of life to not have drained it away.

I have mixed emotions and memories of that hike. I do not regret it, but I did learn…

“In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions”…

We found out that each one of us is…

“A brain.
An athlete
A basket case (guess which one this was)
A princess
And a criminal.”

In need of water.