“I just about had a heart attack!”
My husband came running into the room panting. He began rummaging around our dresser. Papers were being tossed about. He was frantic.
“What happened?” I was not worried. This pretty much happens every time my husband goes outside. He is quite the adventurer.
I could guess it would have something to do with spiders. It has been our obsession for the last three weeks. We have had an unfortunate infestation of brown widows in our backyard. They have made every crevice under every piece of our furniture their luxurious breeding ground.
My husband had gone outside to try to remove more webs. The exterminator was coming to spray for the third time (this month) everything down with a delightful mix of poison which seems to do nothing except make the ground wet for five minutes.
“There is the biggest green spider on the fence! I thought it was a praying mantis. So, I went to pick it up. But right when I almost touched it, I realized it was a spider!”
He paused here to catch his breath. Then he exclaimed excitedly, “I’ve got to get a picture of it!”
He grabbed the camera from his bedside (don’t ask) and dashed outside. Not one to miss seeing a creature in my yard (or a funny story in case it jumped on him), I followed.
It was a magnificent spider. One of its legs was missing. I could only hope this was a war wound from a victorious battle it had had with a brown widow.
After my husband finished taking pictures, I looked at him.
“The exterminator is coming!” I proclaimed in my best voice of panic. To which I seem silly. I guess I am a hypocrite killing one species and wanting to protect another. But this green spider couldn’t land my family in the hospital.
We looked at the beautiful spider and pondered our next move.
“Well, you’re just gonna have to move it.” I said.
My husband did not seem pleased. But he realized it was what he had to do. That is his role in this household, designated spider mover. He has had plenty of practice with the daddy long legs we keep all over the house. My role is to scream, wring my hands, and give unhelpful advice.
I am available for hire.
My husband finished taking his pictures and delicately moved the spider (which we later looked up and realized was a Green Lynx Spider) to the trees behind our house.
“With his hands?” You ask.
Oh no. That would be taking this little grand sad adventure too far. On a stick. The spider was moved on a stick.
A very long stick.
We spent the entire day waiting for the exterminator to arrive so we could ask him not to spray the trees and watch to make sure this was actually carried out. Yes, we wasted spent the entire day protecting this one spider.
Again, available for hire.
As for me, I am sitting here watching the wet ground where the exterminator has just sprayed. It is drying.
I swear I can hear a web being made.
My husband is very excited.
* I shared this on The Daily Post’s Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue.
Just when I don’t think it could possibly get any scarier in your spider-ridden backyard…Oh my goodness. I couldn’t read this sitting down in my desk chair just in case one of those green lynxy things were underneath me. Nightmares tonight, for sure.
Ha! Then later we learned from google that the spider bite is painful. That they are avid runners and jumpers. Aaaahhh! I think my husband would have really had a heart attack. Coming over soon?
; )
Have a great Tuesday. I’ll see you tomorrow!
Jenni
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What are you like 🙂 I can see who not to call the next time we have a spider situation in the house LOL. We don’t have any poisonous spiders here (only snakes theoretically) so our spider situation is purely normal terror and not potential harm. I generally grab daddy log legs in my hands and take them outside. For real spiders we put a glass over them and take them out that way. If they are speedy or high up this can take some time!
September and early October is definitely Spider season in the U.K. they are everywhere. We feel sorry for daddy long legs who are said to only live for 48 hours. As lovely as our house is, we wouldn’t want to spend all our life here, let alone high up in a corner above the stairs or under the TV cabinet.
Last year when the same spider ran out from under the table for 5 nights in a row despite us putting it outside each night, we decided to name him Charlie. Now all spiders are called Charlie. Flies are called Victor, butteflies are Brian, wasps are Wendy… It is funny as my wife is always shouting for Victor to get out through the open door or window and Victor always seems to respond better by name than just shouting at him and chasing him with a towel or piece of paper.
If you don’t name your spiders, I propose you name that lovely green spider, Charlie too 🙂
Oh my gosh Stephen! I remember that story from last week with you and that spider in your shirt. Aaaahhhhhh! At least yours are not poisonous. We have not used our pool in three weeks because none of us will go outside. It kind of sucks!
I love that you name all of your creatures. “Charlie” is a good one. I also can picture your wife calling to the fly. Such a cool story! Your neighbors probably wonder who Victor is!
Have a great Wednesday. Thanks for the smiles.
Jenni
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You made it sound like spiders are the most interesting creatures and rescuing that fateful creature is the most thrilling experience one can ever have..kudos.. 🙂
That is so sweet. Thank you for the compliment. I very much appreciate it! : )
Have a terrific Wednesday!
Jenni
Aaaackkkk!!! Spiders give me the creepy crawlies. Aaaaackkkk!!!
You should meet my sister! She is exactly that way! She HATES coming to our house! I do not know if she will ever come over again! : )
Have a great spider-free Wednesday!
Jenni
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You guys are hilarious! I love that you both instantly agreed the green spider was awesome and had to be saved. And good on your husband for showing some caution while moving it. The kind of stick he used, my old chemistry teacher would have called that a Sissy Stick. Maybe don’t tell your husband that! 😉
Thanks Gwen! Yes, we both have a soft spot for “good”spiders. Later when we googled it, we learned that although this spider is not venomous, its bite is very painful. So I am so glad he moved it with the stick. I would hate to lose my spider catcher! : )
Have a great Thursday!
Jenni
Fantastic story – I wasn’t expecting to learn something. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as brown widows. When I found a picture I realized I had seen one before. I read that these spiders invaded southern calif about 10 years ago. Thanks for sharing this! Good job on spider rescue. 🙂
Thanks Auntie M! Oh yes, the brown widows. Not fun at all! They breed so quickly. We have not been outside in so long. It has been awful. Thankfully, I think they are completely gone now. My husband is doing one last sweep with the vacuum tomorrow. And then we should be able to go out again! I am glad to teach somethin’! ; ). I wish it wasn’t this!
Have a great night!
Jenni