My poor disappointed searchers.

Well, some of my disappointed searchers. The rest are quite lovely. It is just the few that are worrisome.

When you have a blog, you can see how people found your blog in your stat results on your stat page. Some of of my blog traffic comes from search engines. Seeing the search results that led people to the blog is one of the best parts about having a blog. A behind the scenes look at the internet. And the thoughts in people’s heads. Sometimes they are funny. Sometimes they are sad. Sometimes they are scary. Oftentimes I get a chuckle.

There are the typical Hunter Boots searches. Anthropologie searches. Dear sweet people looking for gnome products. And the nice people actually looking for my blog.

But one of my top searches that leads to my blog is for “mother-in-laws in revealing outfits.” I get this one at least a couple of times a week. That is a tame one. Sometimes there are more graphic words involved. Often there are more graphic words involved. In fact, sometimes the very word “graphic” is inserted into the search. And one letter in the alphabet repeated three times for some reason. I can’t quite figure out what that means. Boop-Boop-De-doop-oop!

Anyway, who knew mother-in-laws were so hot?

The reason this becomes even more funny to me is because what I believe they end up seeing is My Beef Stroganoff Recipe. Because my mother-in-law has not revealed the whole recipe to me. Sadly for the searchers, we are both fully clothed when this happens and many feet a part. Just so ya know. The picture of me in that post is unfortunate. I was still afraid to let loose on the blog when it was taken. Do a weird little thing called…smile. But I leave the creepy picture up because I think it is funny.

I also hate revealing outfits. So, that is why it is doubly hilarious.

Poor guys. I do hope they find what they are looking for. Just not here.

I also can’t help but wonder if they make the beef stroganoff recipe…later.

In fact, the whole situation often leaves me with questions in my head. Such as: Oh, God. Please have seen my site and left. Please.

Are you the one who clicked that picture of me five times?

And then I silently scream. And run around my house five times.

Then I call my mother-in-law to see if she would be interested in hosting a site with me. There seems to be a certain niche missing in a certain market. Just kidding. Seeing if you were paying attention..

What surprises me is there haven’t been any quirky gnome searches. Nobody has that fetish I guess. Poor gnomes. Mother-in-laws are just so much hotter. I can say this because I plan to be one one day. And with all honesty and with utmost sincerity, I hope the person who marries my daughter has a thing for gnomes instead.

Or beef stroganoff.

Hey. You’d be surprised.

Or would you?

If you have a blog, do you get crazy searches in your stats? I write mine down in a running list that I hope to post one day. None of them have ever compared to what The Bloggess gets each month (those posts can be found here and here). Thank God. I’ll happily take the mother-in-law lusters and naively go make some beef stroganoff… By myself… Fully clothed… And just a bit more skeptical about this internet thing.