My dog, Ollie, has a lover. He is obsessed with her. His favorite activity is to give her lovin’ while people are over at our house visiting. The sound of his panting can be quite embarrassing when we are trying to hold a conversation with our company… Eyes over here, please. Ignore the quaking dog in the corner…

My biggest problem with his girlfriend is she can get kind of smelly. So I try to give her a bath whenever I notice she is getting dirty. Ollie hates a clean partner. Hey, what can I say? My dog is a freak…

Here is his lover all nice and clean after her bath. Oh, did I forget to mention that his girlfriend is also his bed?

Ollie hates her this way. He can not wait to mess her up again. I have to replace his girlfriend every couple of months. A gal can only take so much. He always plays hard to get with his brand new cushion of adoration. Unfortunately, he always comes around.

Does your dog do weird things? Am I the only one with a freaky pet? Tell me I am not alone!