I had booked us three excursions while we were in Maui. They were: ziplining (which gets a report all of its own), snorkeling and a luau.

SNORKELING:

The snorkeling excursion I picked for us was on the Four Winds II. It went to Molokini. The captain of this boat is one of the most enjoyable human beings I have ever come across. He was absolutely hilarious. He made me almost cry from laughing so hard. I do not want to give away all of his jokes. Here are some gems, but you have to imagine them being spoken in the perfect rugged sea captain grumble:

“Ahhhh, look over there at those humpback whales. You know, I know everything there is to know about the humpback whale… No, really it’s true. I couldn’t figure out why I knew so much. I went to a hypnotist and she put me under. Turns out I was a humpback whale in a previous life…”

“Look at that beauty slapping her tale. Mmmm…it drives me crazy.”

Oh, you had to be there. His delivery was exceptional. He let my son “drive” the boat. My son loved him. I loved him. The trip was worth it just to hear the comedy. The snorkeling was nice. The crew was sweet. We took some amazing pictures of whales. They have a photographer onboard who is phenomenal. Definitely worth purchasing his photos. I highly recommend this company.

LUAU:

I booked the luau closest to our hotel. It was at The Grand Wailea. The Grand Wailea is huge. I had checked out rooms here, but they were too small for the price. Pool cabanas here run around $400 a day! Can you imagine? It was way too crowded for my version of a relaxing vacation, but the pools looked amazing.

The luau itself was very well done. Our family really enjoyed it. They even have a man who spins fire! The most impressive thing was the food. I had not planned on enjoying a mass produced meal, but it was delicious.

Drinks come with the meal. They are not good and are very watered down. Be a genius like the other family at our table, and drink the free bottled wine.

The couple sitting next to us had been married 29 years. They were an older couple with twin eight year old boys. The most wonderful aspect about them was they were still madly in love. I loved the smiles they would give each other. I asked the husband what their secret was and this was his answer:

“Respect. We really respect each other. We know what each of us is good at. Every person brings something to the table. You have to let your partner shine.”

Lovely advice from a very nice man. It was a delightful evening.

Restaurants:

My husband found us a fantastic breakfast place called Kihei Caffe. We ate here twice. It was very inexpensive and had big plates of fantastic food.

Our super sweet bellhop had recommended some restaurants to us when he delivered our groceries to our room. One of them was Pita Paradise. This was our favorite spot on the trip. It is a greek restaurant. The owner catches fresh fish everyday. I am adventurous, so I had the chicken kabobs both times we ate here. The bread is delicious and the tzatziki sauce is heavenly. My husband also tried the greek burger. He said it was wonderful. My kids had the chicken parmigiana.

The other restaurant he recommended was Cafe O’lei . It is a steakhouse. It was also inexpensive for the area. The shortribs I ordered were good. The mango margarita was one of the best I have had.

We stumbled upon this little hut selling hawaiian icees. It is called S & Q’s. Oh my goodness! Have you ever had an icee over vanilla ice cream? Amazing! Worth the trip alone. I loved Maui!

I gained four pounds on this trip! Shocking right? But that is what vacation is for. Indulgence. Now it is back to reality and self restraint. Why does it have to be over?

My favorite part of our trip was the whale watching and piña coladas. My children’s best memory was zip-lining. My husband, the most thoughtful, said his favorite part was watching our son try new things and gain some much needed self confidence. So, there you have it. Maui: the place to go to test your boundaries, watch mammals in the water and drink fruity cocktails while doing so.

What has been your very favorite vacation spot? Oh, and do you know of any place that sells true Hawaiian icees over ice cream in Southern California? I NEED one! (said in my best sea captain grumble)