My husband and I recently went to see Cyndi Lauper in concert. It was a wonderful evening. I will highlight the concert tomorrow, but first I wanted to share a letter I wrote to Ms. Lauper. I was never brave enough to mail it. But I wanted to explain that this concert was special. It meant something. To me:
Dear Ms. Lauper,
I recently learned you are going to be performing in our town. Thrilled does not describe the feelings that overcame me when I saw this. I promptly ordered our tickets (for my husband and myself). And now the waiting commences.
I thought I would write you a little note in the meantime. Growing up, I found myself mesmerized by you. You were so cool. You did not care what anyone thought of you. That was so important for a young girl to see.
When I was in my twenties, I would often hear, “Do you know who you look like?”. I always knew what was coming, but humored them with a patient smile, anyway. “Cyndi Lauper,” they would gush. I would thank them, be flattered, and move along. I took it for granted that it would always be so.
I got married very young and had both of my babies by the time I was twenty six. My dreams were put on the back burner and became dusty and forgotten. I unhappily gained seventy five pounds. I ate my hopes away. I lived this way for many years. I never heard I looked like you any more. I never heard I looked like anyone. I hardly felt like a person. More like a wisp moving through the breezes of the years. I was put aside much like my dreams.
I do not know how it happened, but last year, a spark was lit on the burner. Maybe it had always been there and I had not noticed until the dusty remains of my ideals wafted in my face. I decided I had to lose weight. I had to make something of this life. It took me almost a year, but I did it. I lost all of that weight. I am a free woman. Suddenly the world seemed brighter and I was reminded again of the girl I once was.
I am now writing again. Something that was always a passion of mine. I started a blog and although this such a trivial every day occurrence. It means something to me. I am putting myself out there. Just like you taught me. I know I will stumble, but at least I am doing.
While out at the store the other day, someone paused and looked at me. It has taken some time to get used to being visible again. And do you know what they said? They said, “Do you know who you look like?”. And I stared at them. I did not give them my old patient smile. It seemed so surreal. They said, “You look like Cyndi Lauper.” And the world stopped. And I felt like myself again.
So, thank you Cyndi Lauper. It has always come back to you. And I am ever so grateful. Because you know.
I do.
I just wanna.
And it is shining through.
Jennifer *****
* I will discuss the concert in detail tomorrow. The photo above was courtesy of a wonderful woman I met at the concert named Serena. Thank you Serena! You rock!