delivery

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“What’s in the box?”

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My husband is used to boxes arriving at the door. His face kind of screws itself up into a question mark as he sees another package arrive and I try to stop it before it turns into a full scowl.

The exchange usually goes like this:

“There’s another package for you.”

And then me:

“I only bought three things for ten dollars each! They shipped them all in separate boxes. I swear!”

But by this time, I am usually holding an armful of plastic or cardboard and my audience has left to pursue something more interesting.

Kinda like what is probably happening with this blog post.

The other day a large box came. Large enough to pique his curiosity.

Big.

Big enough to hold anything.

Big enough to hold something fun.

Maybe something masculine.

So, he brings the box in from outside and he asks me, “What’s in the box?”

And I tried to think of something funny to say. But my brain was blank because I could honestly not recall ordering anything. No clothes. No books. Nothin’. Those same answers could be used if you swapped out the word “box” and inserted “your head” instead. Just so ya know.

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.

“It’s not mine. Did you order anything?” I like to pass those big cardboard surprises off as soon as they are dropped upon my doorstep.

My husband examined it further. “It’s from Walmart,” he said without enthusiasm.

I knew the box was definitely not for me.

“Well, it’s not mine,” I proudly snorted.

So, my husband took the ginormous box and placed it on the floor. We stood around it, as though we had never received a delivery before. My hopes were not too high about a box from Walmart.

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My husband opened the box.

Then he looked at me. And he rolled his eyes. From the depths of the box, he began to pull out long blue cylinders. The cylinders had one word on them, “Wondra.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot. I ordered some Wondra from Walmart.”

“You ordered some Wondra?” He said his voice dripping with sarcasm (Wondra would take care of that) as he was still pulling cylinder after cylinder from the depths of the box.

He stacked them side by side. They formed a long row of floury heaven. A caterpillar formed from discounted baking products.

It was wonderful.

My inner hoarder clapped her hands with delight. She sighed with contentment. She danced a little jig and rebelliously began shaking the flour all over the house.

Real life Jenni stood facing the amusement mixed with the irk of her husband and tried not to smile.

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“It’s only a three month supply,” I smugly proclaimed. Because if I had given into my hoarding temptation, I would have doubled the order and had a healthy six month supply at my ready.

“Why couldn’t she just go and get Wondra at Walmart?” Good question. Yes, I can hear your thoughts.

I can no longer go to Walmart, because I had a very real-seeming dream in which I was shopping at Walmart and I was held hostage by the scariest man.

So, you can see why I can no longer go there.

It is for safety’s sake. I am nothin’ if not careful.

And guess what? Walmart delivered my Wondra for free!

It is astounding the things that I know the lengths I will go to to avoid going to the store.

My husband is so proud.

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Chocolate Croissants and an Unexpected Experiment

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Oh man! The memories that chocolate croissants give me… Well, they are not good. Not good. But I used to love them. Love them and loathe them. I loathed them so much that I only recently tried one again after 25 years…

My sister is allergic to bees. Deathly allergic.

My dad is a beekeeper.

Well, you can see the problem here.

We lived in the middle of nowhere. Medical attention was about an hour away. We were armed with an Epipen and terror.

My mother was desperate. She decided to do a medical trial. My little sister (I believe she was five or six years old) would be dragged “down below.” This is what we referred to as “the city.” Any city I go to… It does not matter where. It is “down below” to me.

This drives my husband crazy.

My sister had to get a shot of bee venom every two weeks. It was to try to build up her tolerance for it (it did not work). The tears. The scared tension. The hours of driving. And the waiting. Fish swimming endlessly in the tank at the office.

It was “Groundhog’s Day” on crack.

And after the nightmare. Or during. My young memory is fuzzy. We munched on chocolate croissants. Picnic style. In the middle of the office building’s hallway. They sold them in the bakery downstairs.

Chocolate croissant. Shot. Chocolate croissant. Shot. Over and over.

I am sure my sister thinks it was much worse than I do, as she was the one waiting for the dreaded needle. And she hates needles more than I do. But after a time, I associated chocolate croissants with waiting, needles and boredom. The thought of them turned my stomach.

But I tried a chocolate croissant again in Maui.

And it was delicious.

Something about the lack of sterile air and foul nubby carpet digging into my shins made it much better.

I got an email from William Sonoma. They were offering free shipping on chocolate croissants. I had always wanted to try their croissants. Now was my chance!

I ordered them and waited.

There were no fish to look at.

A week passed. I received no shipping confirmation. Low and behold, they had shipped them randomly on a Wednesday. We were not looking for them. They got placed with some other boxes received that day. The next day, I checked the boxes. The croissants were ruined. I checked my credit card statement. They still charged me shipping! (Remember, they were supposed to have free shipping).

And I realize this was my fault as well. I should have checked the boxes, but it had almost been a week since I had ordered them. I did not know when to expect them. After two emails, they resent them. I, again, did not receive a shipment notification. But this time I was aware this might happen. They showed up randomly five days later. Luckily we were home when they came.

During this debacle, I looked online and discovered Trader Joes sells very similar croissants for a fraction of the price. Sold!

William Sonoma’s Chocolate Croissants are $39.95 for 15 plus shipping. Trader Joe’s are $3.99 for 4.

One William Sonoma Chocolate Croissant = $2.66 (I am going to pretend they honored the free shipping promo I was to receive. If you have to pay shipping, this will be more.)

One Trader Joe’s Chocolate Croissant = $1

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I decided to do a comparison.

As one does.

Armed with time on my hands and a compulsion disorder, this was the natural order of things.

Here is how they compared in our house:

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Getting the croissants out of the package was different. William Sonoma’s were easy. None of the fifteen croissants in the box were stuck together. Trader Joe’s croissants were stuck together. I ended up breaking an edge off of one of the croissants as I tried to separate two. I pinched it back together and hoped for the best.

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I tucked in my sweets for the night and could not wait to see what they looked like in the morning.

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Morning came, and both sets of croissants looked relatively the same. They had risen quite a bit. I brushed them with an egg wash (since this experiment. I have made many more croissants. I recommend not brushing with egg wash. It really does not make much of a difference and it causes the croissant to fall a little) and put them in the oven to bake.

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My kids were very excited about this taste test. My teenage daughter actually got out of bed at a decent hour, on summer vacation, to be part of the experiment.

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Everyone got two small pieces of paper on their plate with the respective name of the company from which the croissant was born and half of each company’s croissant.

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Here is the verdict:

2 votes for Trader Joe’s (both children)
2 votes for William Sonoma (both adults)

William Sonoma:

The good:

1. Easy to remove from packaging
2. Prettier than the Trader Joe’s finished product
3. Flakier crust
4. Richer chocolate
5. Weird tang, that had me first voting for Trader Joe’s, but later had me craving more.

The bad:

1. Price. There was not enough of a difference in the two croissants to justify spending more for this.
2. Inconvenient. You cannot run down to the store to purchase these.
3. Did I mention the price?

Trader Joes:

The Good:

1. Price. Decent price for a good product.
2. Nice mild, slightly sweet taste
3. Convenient.
4. Small packaging. Easier to fit in freezer.
5. Did I mention the price?

The Bad:

1. Hard to separate the croissants.
2. Not pretty. The finished product was noticeably uglier than the William Sonoma version. Thus, if I was serving croissants for a special party, I would buy the William Sonoma version.
3. Not as flaky as the William Sonoma croissant.

Conclusion:

Both croissants were delicious. It was wonderful to smell them baking in the wee hours of the morning. It made our home feel like a French pastry shop. The warm, fresh croissants were such an indulgent, pleasant treat.

The products were very similar. I mean, very similar. The William Sonoma croissant had more depth of flavor. But the kids did not like this. The Trader Joe’s version was just so affordable.

Since this experiment, I have purchased many more Trader Joe’s chocolate croissants. The package is small in the freezer. They continue to be hard to separate. This can lead to some imperfect croissants. However, it is still a wonderful product. It seems so special to have something that takes a bit of time to eat for breakfast. We do not eat these all of the time (perhaps once a month). But when we do, the house is filled with excitement. And delicious smells.

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Have you tried these bake at home pastries? What did you think?

* P.S. My giveaway for a $25 World Market gift card ends Monday night. Please do not forget to enter!