“Stupid is as stupid does.”

Yep.

Why do I always does?

The other night I went to a farm to watch my daughter ride horses. I have always considered myself a farm girl. I grew up on a property that had once been a ranch. I believe it had cattle. Granted all of the cows had been sold long before I was ever born. But, still, I grew up on an apiary. Bees are a bit tricky to ride but once you get the hang of it… Farm girl was a label I stubbornly claimed in my head.

I. Was. Wrong.

I am not now, nor will I ever be a farm girl.

I saw a cow on the farm. Nevermind that it was the biggest darn cow anyone had ever seen. The horses in the pen with it looked like dogs. It looked like Paul Bunyan’s Ox. For some reason I thought it was cute. I think I played much too much Oregon Trail growing up.

In my head cows are were harmless no matter what size they are.

Again. Wrong.

And harmless no matter if they had horns the size of my arm.

Again. Wrong. And… Duh!

Well, I decided to pose with the cow.

The cow did not want to pose with me. He must have smelt the hamburger I had eaten earlier on my breath. Maybe I deserved what came next.

The cow, bull, giant demon decided to ram its horn up against my hand on the bar, crushing my finger between its horn and the metal.

I almost passed out.

It felt like my finger was gone. I seriously thought I had no more finger. It must have gone to wherever my brain had decided to wander (please let me know if you find it).

Thankfully, my finger was just very bruised.

It was all my fault.

Who puts their hand in the vicinity of a 3000 pound animal with horns?

Who knew I would raise my now-much-larger hand to that question?

Who would think that this would be a good idea?

I does. I does. I does.

And you better believe it…this cmock and bull story is real. I, unfortunately have the picture to prove it:

Be smarter than me, my friends. Be smarter than me.

And don’t go grab the bull by the horns today.

You can, however, laugh in hysterics over these pictures. I know I am. Even if I am wiping the tears of mirth away with only one hand.