Okay, I started an Instagram account (TheGnomeLover). Finally. I am a dinosaur. New technology terrifies me. I hate social media. I know. The irony. But I don’t like the thought of everyone’s business being seen by the whole world in a constant stream of information. I like to take time to contemplate things. I like to think things over. Scrutinize the importance of what I am putting out there. Look for boogers in pictures. The idea of “instant” is scary. Sometimes it takes me a year to edit a story. I like to wait at least a week to publish an outfit post.

This is me being a risk taker.

I’m outta control.

My friend has been telling me that I need an Instagram account for my blog forever. But I was resistant. Then I thought the other day, what if Gnomelover gets taken? What if one day I actually want an Instagram Account, but I can’t get my name??? Panic set in. I tried to register it. Well, it was all ready taken. Sigh. So, I took TheGnomeLover. As in the one and only. Because I like to be as obnoxious as I possibly can.

But, anyway, I kind of don’t understand Instagram. What do you post? When you hashtag, do you use spaces? I just learned the word hashtag last month. And I use the word “learned” loosely. If my kids learned the alphabet like I learned the word “hashtag,” they would still be in kindergarten and my heart would still be whole.

How do you find people to follow? Is there a home page? Is there a search feature?

What are “likes”?

How often is too much posting to Instagram? What are the etiquette rules for Instagram? What if I like to take food pictures?

Am I ready for this?

Am I overthinking this?

If I have a booger or cellulite hanging out, will you let me know?

Gosh. Do I want to know?

Wait. Are these questions even more terrifying than pictures I could post?

I realize I could probably find these questions somewhere online, but it took me a half an hour just to find the button to sign up for an account. I am hoping you might be able to guide me in the right direction.

I think I will post stuff not on the blog and on the blog. Like yesterday I posted a picture from my house that won’t make it to the blog. And a blog picture. Maybe I will post pictures of blog posts coming up. Ollie. Murphy (who is sick. Please send good thoughts his way).

Thank you for your help! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some cave drawings that need to get done before the T-Rex comes around.