There is a lizard in my garage. I keep leaving the door open and he will not leave. He is big. He stares at me. I think he wants to eat me. I am being held hostage in the house by a reptile.

I had to get my kids from school. I hesitantly opened the door and peeked out. He was guarding my car door. I quickly rushed in the opposite direction. I flew into the car. I locked the door as fast as I could. Yes, I said, I locked the door as fast as I could…

He’s a wily little sucker.

Please tell me he’s not here to stay.