This Ain’t Your Mother-In-Law’s Blog

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My poor disappointed searchers.

Well, some of my disappointed searchers. The rest are quite lovely. It is just the few that are worrisome.

When you have a blog, you can see how people found your blog in your stat results on your stat page. Some of of my blog traffic comes from search engines. Seeing the search results that led people to the blog is one of the best parts about having a blog. A behind the scenes look at the internet. And the thoughts in people’s heads. Sometimes they are funny. Sometimes they are sad. Sometimes they are scary. Oftentimes I get a chuckle.

There are the typical Hunter Boots searches. Anthropologie searches. Dear sweet people looking for gnome products. And the nice people actually looking for my blog.

But one of my top searches that leads to my blog is for “mother-in-laws in revealing outfits.” I get this one at least a couple of times a week. That is a tame one. Sometimes there are more graphic words involved. Often there are more graphic words involved. In fact, sometimes the very word “graphic” is inserted into the search. And one letter in the alphabet repeated three times for some reason. I can’t quite figure out what that means. Boop-Boop-De-doop-oop!

Anyway, who knew mother-in-laws were so hot?

The reason this becomes even more funny to me is because what I believe they end up seeing is My Beef Stroganoff Recipe. Because my mother-in-law has not revealed the whole recipe to me. Sadly for the searchers, we are both fully clothed when this happens and many feet a part. Just so ya know. The picture of me in that post is unfortunate. I was still afraid to let loose on the blog when it was taken. Do a weird little thing called…smile. But I leave the creepy picture up because I think it is funny.

I also hate revealing outfits. So, that is why it is doubly hilarious.

Poor guys. I do hope they find what they are looking for. Just not here.

I also can’t help but wonder if they make the beef stroganoff recipe…later.

In fact, the whole situation often leaves me with questions in my head. Such as: Oh, God. Please have seen my site and left. Please.

How long did you stay on my site?

Are you the one who clicked that picture of me five times?

And then I silently scream. And run around my house five times.

Then I call my mother-in-law to see if she would be interested in hosting a site with me. There seems to be a certain niche missing in a certain market. Just kidding. Seeing if you were paying attention..

What surprises me is there haven’t been any quirky gnome searches. Nobody has that fetish I guess. Poor gnomes. Mother-in-laws are just so much hotter. I can say this because I plan to be one one day. And with all honesty and with utmost sincerity, I hope the person who marries my daughter has a thing for gnomes instead.

Or beef stroganoff.

Hey. You’d be surprised.

Or would you?

If you have a blog, do you get crazy searches in your stats? I write mine down in a running list that I hope to post one day. None of them have ever compared to what The Bloggess gets each month (those posts can be found here and here). Thank God. I’ll happily take the mother-in-law lusters and naively go make some beef stroganoff… By myself… Fully clothed… And just a bit more skeptical about this internet thing.

21 thoughts on “This Ain’t Your Mother-In-Law’s Blog

  1. Haha …. this started my day with a good laugh! You’ve found a need out there that’s not being fulfilled! lol! But yep, it’s fun to check the searches. I keep getting people who search for “broken toe style” … I mean come on, that was one month last spring! Are there that many broken toes out there? Anyway, another fun mystery is to look at your referring sties. Do you ever see one that you have no idea how it links to you?
    OXOX
    Dawn Lucy
    http://fashionshouldbefun.blogspot.com

    • Thank you Dawn! Oh my goodness! Your search result is so funny! What is up with the toes? I have gotten one for “big toe lover dot com” before. It made me wonder all day. I can usually figure out how someone finds the blog with their search results. It never occurred to me the random ones I would receive with “lover” in my name. : ). I bet there are a lot of broken toes out there! I broke mine a few years ago. Ouch!

      Sweet dreams!

      Jenni

  2. LOL My goodness. I didn’t realize “mothers-in-law” were a fetish? Is this really a thing? I suppose it must be if you get a couple of hits a week. I can’t think of any super weird searches that have landed to my blog. Lots of creative misspellings of “whimsy” though.

    I think the best part of this story is that it lands people on your Beef Stroganoff Recipe. Nothing says sexy and scandalous like a steaming hot bowl of beef and noodles. lol I wonder if they do make the recipe? That’d be a really awkward conversation later if they made it for friends. Someone around the table asks: “Mmmmmm… Where did you find this recipe?” And then the awkward pause to try and come up with a non-incriminating explanation…

    <3 Liz
    http://www.withwonderandwhimsy.com

    P.S. I promise to catch up on my blog reader next Monday! I have loads and loads to catch up on post-Scotland!

    • I read your Scotland post and then got sidetracked and did not comment. But I loved it and want to read it again. I will definitely do so tomorrow. Every time I think I am going to have time to do something, life gets in the way. I think it is funny that it lands on that page, too. I would imagine that would be frustrating.

      I am glad you got back safe! Have a lovely week!

      Jenni

    • Check daily. I did not get any weird ones today. You are bound to get some crazy cat searches. I get weird lover ones because of my blog title.

      Sweet dreams!

      Jenni

    • You are so sweet! Thank you! It gets crazy the things people search for. I cannot imagine growing up in this age of technology with so many answers at your fingertips.

      Sweet dreams!

      Jenni

  3. I haven’t looked up mine. Who knows what it would be probably something boring…not exciting like mother-in-laws 😉
    Just think, you are bestowing beef stroganoff to those that truly need it !!

    • Ha! I just imagine the pots of simmering meat on the stove. : ). I never thought my exciting stat would be mother-in-law oddness. You might be surprised with yours. I know I was with mine!

      Have a marvelous Monday!

      Jenni

    • Thank you Liana! Strange is definitely the word. I was worried I would get more hits with that phrase after I posted this but so far we are good. Knock on wood. : )

      Have a great Tuesday!

      Jenni

  4. LOLed at this post! There are the creepiest yuckiest peeps out there. seriously! I haven’t studied the search perimeters of what brings some of them to my blog, but the spamming-troll comments drive me bananas. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned my mother-in-law on my blog, so dodged a bullet there I guess!! But I mention plenty else…I wonder how many have hit my blog for the innocent “sexy” and “drool” descriptors I have used when discussing new Anthro items?:0

    • That is exactly why I never use the term sexy here. Ack! And drool?! I bet you do get some searches. That is funny. The internet sometimes makes me want to crawl under my covers and not come out. But I love the positives too much to keep away from it.

      I hope your Tuesday is marvelous!

      Jenni

  5. HAHAHA! It is a good thing right now that we are not neighbours, or I’d be over there right this minute with a camera and some spatulas, to do an impromptu photo-shoot of us “disciplining” each other! (I did that once, with two friends, after I got some really weird spatulas (bright orange) for Christmas. We wore frilly aprons. I don’t think my friend who gave me them quite got the joke, but she was a good sport about it! 😉 )
    That is hilarious though, how search engines can take someone to the most innocent place… when they are looking for something far less innocent. 😉 I’d almost suggest you do your next outfit pictures in the kitchen, posing like a naughty lady with a bowl and a whisk! 😉

    • Ha! I definitely do not want to encourage anyone to come to the site that way. No! There are all ready too many! That is funny what you did with your friend. I could never be so bold!

      Have a wonderful Wednesday!

      Jenni

  6. Pingback: Searching For... - Gnome Lover

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