Opossum, My Opossum

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I remember the first time I saw an opossum, the elusive creature dramatized in books by their climbing and playing dead skills. I imagined they were sweet and cuddly. The perfect fantasy creature. In high school, we went on a field trip to a college. I do not remember anything about the campus. The teachers. Even the name of the school escapes me. What I do remember is looking up from the bus window and spotting the creature of my dreams.

Opossum!

I always associated college with opossums after that.

Then we moved further South in Southern California. And I would see opossums everywhere…As road kill on the side of the road.

I did not see a live one until my daughter was in the first grade. There was a mother of a child in the class who thought it would be an excellent idea to bring in a wild opossum in a cage to show the six year old children. She had caught it in her backyard.

Yep.

She loved it.

So, she brings out this cage covered with a towel and sets it in the middle of twenty children. Then she excitedly pulled the towel off of the cage.

And the hissing commenced.

The creature I had built up in my head was beady eyed with sharp claws and pointy teeth. It was terrifying. I think I was more scared than the children.

The wild animal gnashed its teeth and hissed continuously.

The teacher tried to make her way to the cage as quickly as possible.

“No! Don’t put your fingers in the cage!”

“Don’t touch its tail!”

“Stop screaming!”

This was directed towards me.

The creature thrashed.

Opossum.

A liability nightmare.

The teacher quickly got the situation under control. The cage was recovered. Sent back home with its bewildered momma.

What do you mean this was a bad idea?

After that, I was terrified that we would get an opossum in our trees. I would check for rustling in the bushes. Peek behind the trash cans.

Last week it happened.

My husband saw “the biggest one I have ever seen,” in our front yard.

I blame the carrots.

Just another reason to not go outside at night. You never know what might be lurking.

If you happen to see one…

Just play dead. Turn their own little trick against them.

And then let me know how that works out for you.

In the meantime, I will be making a phone call. I think I know someone who might want a new friend.

*When doing some research to see if, indeed, while we were feeding the bunnies. With carrots. In our front yard. If perchance, we had attracted the opossum. I googled “opossum eats carrots” and found the best commentary in a forum, ever. My favorite new quote, “define mauled.”

8 thoughts on “Opossum, My Opossum

  1. Imagining the classroom chaos made me laugh out loud. And that forum post was crazy. “Occasionally they have accidentally nibbled my fingers”

    We don’t have opossums here, but we do get skunks.

    • Thank you Liana! That forum post still makes me laugh with tears. I do not know why I think it is so funny, but it just tickles me.

      Ack! Skunks! Apparently we have skunks, too, but I have never seen a live one. Thank God!

      Have a marvelous Monday!

      Jenni

  2. Oh gosh – I also read the forum post and that was hysterical – “define mauled”. Can I steal that sometime? Too good.
    Now the rescuer in me has to vent a little. What a dangerous thing to do. Anyone in that room could have gotten seriously hurt. Not to mention that is was an extremely cruel thing to do to the opossum. Sigh… I hope that woman finally understood her mistake.
    I don’t mind the opossums in our neighborhood too much. I just stay out of their way. It’s the raccoons that scare me!

    • You will be happy to hear it does have a happy ending for the opossum. A few years later I stopped and asked her about it. She found a rescue site to take it. So, hopefully it was able to be rereleased. That thing was crazy! Supposedly we have raccoons. The guy who built are bookcases said he had a raccoon crawl through his doggie door! Aaahhh! I do sometimes hear loud noises at night but I just assume it is the opossum. Or rats. We get HUGE rats over here. I like opossums better than rats.

      Have a great day!

      Jenni

  3. Oh my gosh, opossums are the worst! I have no idea how that was even allowed in school!
    My mom found one sleeping in the bottom of our trash can and it scared her for life! Lots of hissing and snarling and we had to tip the trash can over and run back to the house and hope it left. They really are so gross.
    Best of luck getting rid of that thing!

    • I have no idea how it was allowed at school either. I am guessing it was a surprise. Oh my gosh! If I found one in the bottom of the trash can?! Scarred for life! I am hoping it will simply go away. Avoidance usually works for most things, right?!

      Have a great evening!

      Jenni

  4. HAHAHA! Oh man, I cannot blame you for being frightened of Opossums after that display! What sort of crazy lady would bring something like that into a room full of children anyway? I mean, the only reason I think it’s hilarious is obviously that I wasn’t actually there, heh. 😉 Allllmoooost as crazy as walking around with an ocelot on a leash, eh? 😉

    • Thanks Gwen. Um, um, I can’t say nothin’. But it was interesting. ; ). That ocelet on the leash sounded so cool. I wish I could have seen that. My dad took a picture the other day, I have to share it. It is a man walking his tortoise!!! Crazy!

      Have a wonderful week!

      Jenni

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