Reading: THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

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I have been reading a lot lately. Escapism. It’s a disease. Which brings us to the book I want to discuss:

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This month, for book club (a group of my girlfriends who meet monthly), we are reading THE FAULT IN OUR STARS by John Green. I had dreaded reading it. It is about a sixteen year old girl dying of cancer. I was told it was sad, but also funny. I try to avoid sad. My heart can’t take it.

I started the book and had to set it down every chapter. It was very hard to read. I have a teenage daughter. I did not know if I could go on after the first chapter.

Page twenty five. Closed book. Cried. Told myself I could read this.

Page forty. Closed book. Cried. Told my husband I could not read this.

Page seventy. I didn’t see it coming. It hit me unexpectedly. More tears. But I was committed.

Let’s consolidate the tears to pages, shall we: 99, 103, and oh, 117, you hurt, 121, 208 (I don’t know why), 259-the end of the book. But 296-297 crushed my soul.

I read the book in one day. I am going to be honest. To get it over with. It was a beautiful, well written tragedy. And I could not find the humor. I just found it so incredibly sad. Yes, the main character is perfect. He wrote a fantastic, sarcastic sixteen year old girl who is dying.

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John Green is a wonderful writer. His words flow. You can picture every nuance in this girl’s life. You want her to live, even as he tells you again and again that she won’t.

If you can handle the real world and you love beautifully written words, you will love this book. I am not one of those people in the first half of that sentence.

It is very reminiscent of a Jodi Piccoult book, which I had quit reading years ago, because everything was so damned tragic.

Here are some highlights from the book:

The mother: This character was amazing. She was the character who broke my heart. She was the mother you would hope you would be in this situation.

Love story: the book is a love story. I do not want to give anything away, except to say, it obviously cannot end well.

What I got from the book:

I want to go to Amsterdam. It sounds so lovely.

Champagne sounds more delightful than it truly is.

And, why haven’t they found a darn cure for cancer all ready?

I did hug my daughter all day today. She thinks I am a total freak. Then I started sobbing. Yep, she is very pleased I read this book.

Would this be a book I recommend? I do not know…

My friends (aka adults) loved this book. Most people who have read it do.

I did not.

My eyes are still puffy as I write this. The book was very sad. Did I all ready mention that?

Yep, sad.

It is a book that sticks with you. I admire his writing. The words were beautiful. However…

I am going back to my teenage fantasy romance. Will the werewolf get the girl? Who knows. But at least it won’t break my heart.

What is a good book you are reading right now? Do you have any recommendations for me? I love to talk fiction.

P.S. Am I the only one hyperventilating with excitement over the mystery creature that washed up on Spain’s shores this week? And, that is not an oar fish! ; )

From The Abyss

Let us take a break from the new and admire the old. I have so many favorite pieces in my closet. Dresses are my everyday attire. I only own three pairs of jeans. Seven, if you count colors. I own one pair of capris and absolutely no shorts. I just feel more feminine in a skirt.

I wanted to share some older pieces with you guys.

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This is one of my top ten favorite dresses in my closet. I reach for it time and time again. It is from Anthropologie. It is from last summer. It is called Flared Caraz Dress. It has the most beautiful colors and pattern. And it also has a small layer of tulle. You cannot see the tulle, but I know it it there. Which makes me feel secretly more girly. The necklace was gifted to me by Simply Livly on Etsy.

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This skirt is at least eight years old. I bought it from Anthropologie before my son turned two and now he is ten. I weighed forty five pounds more then than I do now. The tag is missing from the skirt. So, I do not know what size this is. I thought if I belted it, I could get away with wearing it. I am not so sure, in retrospect, that it worked.

But I wanted to wear it, so I did. I paired it with another older Anthropologie shirt. I think this one is five years old. It is white eyelet. It, too, was large. When I was heavier, I would wear it untucked over jeans. Now, I just tuck it in.

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And this dress has history. I once had a friend who had a dress just like this one. It was the only time I have ever copied a friend. I loved it so much on her. She has since gotten rid of hers. But I still love mine. It was from Kohls on sale for $17 six years ago. I paired it with some Anthropologie wedges and my Simply Livly turquoise necklace.

Do any of you keep your clothes forever? I do, if I truly love the piece. What is your favorite “oldie” from your closet? Mine is… Hmmm… I can’t decide.

It’s The Little Things: Red, Red Wine

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You make me feel so…

Divine.

I like wine. But I am not a wine snob. In fact, I really do not know all that much about it, despite the many tastings and tours I have been on. I do know what I like, though. And this is it.

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It is called Firefly Ridge Red Flash. It is available at Safeway and Vons. It is also almost always on sale. A good price for it is $5.50 a bottle. A great price is $5. I stock up on this delight.

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It is smooth. Not too sweet.

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Look at its aura. ; ). I highly recommend this for all you adults out there!

It’s the little things: Good wine for a great price!

Little Gabby

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The sun was relentless as it peered down on little Gabby. She clutched the hot metal of the small merry-go-round. It burned into her tiny hands. The metal was not yet hot enough to be painful. It was the good kind of burn. That pleasant sensation that starts at the exposed part of the body and moves through you. The way the sun feels on your face at the beach. She knew she would have bumps from the metal imprinted on her palms as soon as she released her grip. She looked forward to the way her hands would feel when she clutched the handlebars of her bike on the way home. The tingling of the skin reforming and trying to recreate itself onto a new object.

She sighed heavily as she waited impatiently for her brother, Peter, to come out of the market. On Mondays and Fridays, her mother would ask her children to stop at the market on their way home from school. They were told to bring her home a bottle of milk. Peter used to do it alone. Now Gabby accompanies him.

The door opened. Gabby looked up expectantly, but it was not Peter. Mr. Deanus waved at her. In his wrinkled hands he carried an apple. He stopped every day at the market to pick up a different piece of fruit. A few years ago, Gabby remembered, he used to buy two. Now, he bought only one. For some reason, this made Gabby sad. She turned her attention to an ant that had begun crawling up her arm.

“Hey!”

Gabby looked up. Peter was striding out of the store. He looked angry. Peter always looked angry lately. He resented these stops at the market. She knew he wished to get home and see Lily next door. Peter had just turned eleven. She hoped she did not scowl as much when she turned his age.

“Gabrielle, do you really need to ride that thing again?” Peter asked crossly.

Peter was the only person in her family who always called her by her full name. Her mother told her it was because Peter would stumble over the word when he was younger. “Gabieeelle,” he would call her. He would skip over the “r,” and lengthen the “e.” That was a long time ago.

Gabby turned her head up defiantly. Two years ago, Peter would have insisted on claiming his tiger. She climbed onto the merry-go-round. She would alternate the animals on each day that she came, so they would all receive a turn. This time, she chose the giraffe. She stroked its long neck. The ant was still on her arm. It tickled. “Do you want to ride with me?” She whispered to it.

Gabby turned to Peter and ignored his earlier question. Instead she called, “I’m ready!”

To the ant, she softly sang, “Hang on.”

Peter reluctantly put the quarter into the machine. The carousel began to turn. Gabby grasped the giraffe’s neck and threw her own head back. Now everything appeared upside down. She loved to view the world this way. The parking structure next door now had cars floating in the air. Peter’s frown turned into a smile. Round and round she went. Her long braid almost touched the yellow floor of the ride. Peter became blurry with each pivot the animals made. She imagined that she would spin so fast, she would fly into the sky. The thought thrilled her. She gripped the giraffe’s neck tighter.

Too soon it was over.

She lifted her head back up and delighted in the dizziness that overtook her. After the world came together again, Gabby carefully stepped on each colorful star as she bounded off the ride. She patted the white bunny on her way. “Next time,” she hummed into his large, hard ears.

Peter was waiting with her bike ready. “Just a sec,” she told Peter. He got on his bike. He pretended he was leaving. She knew he wouldn’t. At dinner each night, he still ruffles her hair. He fills her glass with the milk they had gotten together. And he always smiles when she bangs her belly like a drum and bellows like a gorilla at their dog.

He would wait for her.

She crouched down under the chipped yellow paint of the merry-go-round. She laid her new friend on the ground in the shade. “You have a good day now, okay?”

She pressed her head closer to the pavement to hear if he answered. In her mind, she thought she heard a small happy laugh come from the ant. Gabby climbed to her feet. She dusted her jeans off.

“Let’s go,” she called to Peter.

This time he smiled. “It’s about time!”

They climbed onto their bikes and began the short ride home. Behind them the carousel creaked in the heat. In three short days, she would visit it again.

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* This story was written in response to the Daily Post’s Weekly Writing Challenge. The photo is courtesy of Michelle Weber. Thank you for reading!